Royal Pains
by Animanizanny
Summary: Everyone knows how the Warners became co-rulers. But what comes after? With Yakko being forced to marry, Dot lost in the beauty of being a queen and Wakko being hungry...okay so THAT'S normal. But what if the Warners' throne was at stake? Review!
1. Sir Figglesworth

Royal Pains Chapter 1

Many people have heard the story of the 3 kids who saved Acme Falls. Almost everyone who lives in Acme Falls could recite the story for you word for word. But this takes us back to the beginning, back to when the Warners first became royalty.

The Warners had just officially kicked King Salazar from his throne and settled in as co rulers. Everything was perfect. The town of Acme Falls began to prosper from a simple hay penny. But what of the rest of the world?

It was a warm spring day in the kingdom. The 3 new rulers sat in their thrones happily in descending order from oldest to youngest. Yakko, Wakko, and Dot.

A man dressed in royal purples stumbled into the room, his fat face dripping sweat as he wheezed.

"Y-your majesties, I would like to introduce myself."

"Helloooooo large man who eats well." Dot hopped off her throne and grinned. The man's red face became a deeper shade of purple but he remained silent in the presence of royalty. Yakko stood and yawned.

"Man I need to stretch. My royal highness is sore if you know what I mean."

Wakko snickered and got up as well. The man took a deep breath before bowing to the floor.

"I am Sir Figglesworth of Ticktockia and I have come to give my greetings to the new kings and queen."

At hearing his name, the 3 majesties burst out laughing. "E-exsqueeze me?" Yakko laughed.

Sir Figglesworth was confused. He was never laughed upon from his home country. "I believe I said my name was-"

"Don't repeat it again!" Dot laughed as she rolled around on the carpet.

"Please! My name is very big in my home country!"

"Not the only thing." Wakko muttered to his giggling siblings. Sir Figglesworth left in a huff, leaving the new rulers to their games.

_Clearly they are not fit at all. And I was so hoping not to have to rid them of they royal privileges. Oh well, once they hear of the arranged marriage, they will give the throne to me and run back to their games of leisure. Sir Figglesworth left the castle, sure of his plans. _


	2. Rude Awakenings

**Hi it's me! I forgot to mention this in chapter 1 but I do NOT OWN ANIMANIACS or any of it's amazing characters. The only one's I own are the ones I make up myself but let's not give anything away****J. **

Royal Pains Chapter 2

Yakko awoke to the sounds of Wakko snoring in just the other room.

_Man what a great party last night. The food was all dipped in chocolate, the music was fun, and those princesses, hellooooo nurse!_

It was good to be a king. Suddenly, Yakko's bedroom door burst open and a stream of people came in. He jumped, falling out of bed.

"Wha-?"

"Good morning your royal majesty! It's a pleasure to see you so bright and cheery in the morning!" A tall, skinny guy with a mouse nose cheered. Yakko rubbed his eyes.

"Are you on medication?"

"Why yes your majesty. I take stool softeners everyday. How kind of you for asking."

Yakko blinked. "Oh gross! I didn't need to know that!"

The mouse man just smiled, his face like plastic. "Oh you're in for a big day! I'll have someone go awake your brother and sister. How Giselle!"

A pretty blond haired maid strolled in. Yakko did a double take.

"Hellooooo beautiful blond girl!" He jumped into her arms.

"So…where were you last night? And more importantly, where will you be tonight?"

Giselle put him down and bowed. "You're highness."

Yakko rolled his eyes. "Seriously, why is everyone so obsessed with my rear? Although for you, I don't mind…"

The mouse man turned to Giselle. " Go awake King Wakko."

"Lucky devil." Yakko muttered. Mr. Mousy, Yakko had decided to call him, turned back to Yakko.

"Alright your majesty, while I have your brother and sister awakened, you shall come with me to fulfill your day's schedule. We will be learning posture, fine dining, and fashion."

"Ehhhh, those all sound pretty girly to me so I think I'll pass." Yakko flopped back on his high, four poster bed. Giselle came back in with a sleepy but love struck Wakko in her arms. Mr. Mousy smiled.

"Ah King Wakko. You are awake. King Yakko, Giselle will escort you both to your first lesson on fine dining. Queen Dot should be awakening soon.

"Uh oh." Yakko and Wakko both covered their ears as Dot's voice exploded through the walls.

"HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY CUTIE SLEEP WHEN PEOPLE KEEP TRYING TO WAKE ME UP?GET OUT!"

Yakko and Wakko exchanged a look.

"Let's go and let Queen Cranky cool off." Yakko suggested.

"Sounds faboo to me." Wakko nodded as they both jumped into Giselle's arms as she carried them out to learn fine dining.

**Read and Review please. Be kind, I'm just starting out. Thanks!**


	3. Good Manners and Meeting the Maid

**Hello everyone. I would like to thank weirdsib for being my first review ever! You rock. Okay so to set the mood for this chapter, I am introducing a new character and the chapter will be switching from her version to someone else's as the story goes along. Don't worry, you won't get too confused.(I hope). As before, I do not own animaniacs.**

Royal Pains Chapter 3

_Our souls were one, if you must know_

_And never shall they be apart;_

_With splendid dawn, your face aglow_

_I reach for you and find my heart. ~ Nicholas Sparks_

As Val scrubbed the floor, she watched her reflection. It showed an odd face, with almost a bored expression. The face was white, ghost white, with shocking violet eyes set in it. Her bright orange mess of hair was pulled into a sloppy bun and her dog-like ears drooped from the day's exhaustion. It was no fun being a maid.

"Val!" Val jerked as Giselle's shrill voice rang from down the castle corridors. Val stood, and forced herself to answer the witch's cruel demands.

Val couldn't stand Giselle. She was pretty faced and sweet on the outside but inside she probably looked like boogers. Giselle was hot tempered and liked to order the maids around, especially the newest maid, Val.

Val rounded the corner to see Giselle leaving the dining hall. "Yes Giselle?"

"Don't you 'yes Giselle' me!" She mimicked Val with an annoying tone. "I specifically told you that his royal majesties would be in these halls today and that they would not want to see the likes of you." Giselle grabbed Val's mop. "Do you see this mop Val?"

Val sighed. "No Giselle I don't see it right in front of my face."

Giselle's face went beet red. "Don't use that tone with ME Val Rocket! You are a poor dirty maid. You have no family, and no money. You will now and probably always be a cleaning maid. Respect is the only thing that you were given to help you with your sad life so I suggest you use it!"

Val didn't flinch, being used to Giselle's little "beauty rages" as she called them. Apparently, when you're really beautiful, it makes your temper flare. At least, that is what Giselle always said.

"Now…Val?" Giselle asked in a sickly sweet voice. Val batted her eyes.

"Yes Giselle?" Her voice just as sweet.

"Where does this mop go?'

_I could think of a place._

"In my hand." Val stuck out her palm and Giselle placed the mop handle in it.

"Good. Now go be a good little filthy maid and clean the second story floors so no one has to look at you."

Val sighed, forcing herself to not blurt out something really bad that would feel super good but probably get her sent to the streets again. She turned, mop in hand, refusing to admit that Giselle had won again, even if she did.

…

Yakko and Wakko stared in awe at the spread before them. The dining hall was packed full of the most food they had ever seen. Pastries, fruits, cakes, trays of bacon, nuts, and even a chocolate fountain! Even Wakko was a bit overwhelmed.

"Faboo." Was all he managed to say. Yakko, for once, was speechless until the doors opened again, bringing in Mr. Mousy, and a very crabby Dot.

"I see Giselle has brought you two to the dining hall. I hope it is to your liking."

Dot blinked. "Now THIS is what I call breakfast! Let's eat!"

The Warners ran straight at the food, shoving everything they could reach into their mouths. Mr. Mousy gaped in horror as Wakko grabbed a shovel from his gag bag and began using it as a fork. Dot was drinking straight from the chocolate fountain and Yakko was swallowing cakes whole.

"That is enough!" A deep rumbling voice made even the Warners turn from their feast.

A huge muscled woman with spiky blond hair and a 5'o clock shadow lumbered into the room, making the dining hall shake like an earthquake hit.

"I am Helga, you new dining instructor. I will teach you good manners. Royalty or not."

Mr. Mousy timidly tapped her shoulder. She turned slowly until she was looking down at Mr. Mousy, who looked like he was about to leave a few droppings on the floor as his knees shook. "T-the K-Kings and Queen are to be t-treated gentle." Mr. Mousy swallowed. "Please don't eat me."

Helga huffed and pointed to the door with a sausage finger. "Helga turn now!"

Mr. Mousy nodded. "Yes of course. Goodbye your royal majesties!" He flew out of the room like a speeding bullet. " Our hero." Yakko muttered.

Helga turned to the Warners with a stare like a cannibal. "Sit at seats!"

Wakko swallowed. "Um well actually…"

"SIT AT SEATS!"

The Warners ran to their chairs. Dot turned to a shaken Wakko. "Tip number one, don't anger beluga whales."

Helga turned to her and Dot shrank about 3 sizes. Yakko jumped in to save his sister.

"Beluga whales are actually quite ehhh … graceful creatures…? Sorry Dot I got nothin."

Helga paced, making the chairs jump. "You three learn manners good. First, no hands on table or Helga rip hands off!" All three of them put their hands in their laps. "Second, no funny business. Helga sees ALL!" She turned and there was a taped kick me sign on her brick wall of a back. Yakko snickered and Wakko and Dot gaped at him. "Okay I know it's an old gag but it's still pretty funny." He whispered.

Helga gave them each a plate. "Will learn good manners or Helga will bring punishment!"

And so began the rest of their miserable day.

After 3 hours of near-death experience, the Warners were free of Helga only to be brought to Mr. Mousy again to learn poise. They all tried to walk with books on their heads but Wakko's book fell on Dot's foot and than suddenly books were being thrown all over the place. Next, they tried fashion which Dot was very excited for…her brothers not so much.

Dot twirled in a floor length baby pink gown. "I'm just too cute!"

Yakko was sprawled in a chair while Wakko was in the dressing room. "Well if they try to put me in something like that, I'm starting a whole new round of book war."

Mr. Mousy came in with a zipped up garment bag. "King Yakko, I have found the most marvelous garment for you."

Yakko raised an eyebrow. "Ya know, I'm beginning to question your preference…if you know what I mean."

Mr. Mousy just smiled and unzipped the bag to reveal a weird feathered shirt with suspenders of some sort and…were those tights?

"No thanks. I prefer being a boy. I'm outta here." Yakko ran for the door with Mr. Mousy following him. "Oh but your majesty, this is all the rage!"

"Again…questioning your preference!" Yakko called over his shoulder before sprinting for the first flight of stairs he could find. Yakko didn't exactly care where he was, as long as he got away.

_Few! I lost him! This royalty thing sure takes a lot out of me. Where am I anyways?_

Suddenly, Yakko heard voices behind him and he was off running again.

…

Val washed and scrubbed the old tiled floors as she hummed a nice tune to herself. _I'll have a nice day even if that ugly Giselle is dictating me._ Val looked up upon hearing shouts and the next thing she knew, she was being plowed over, her head being pushed into her dirty mop bucket. _Dirty filthy cleaning maid. Ha ha I forgot how to laugh._

"Oops my bad. Ehhh you've got a little mop water on your…everything." Val spit mop water from her mouth before flinging her dripping hair from her eyes. "Why don't you watch where you're going you clumsy-" Val gasped when she saw who it was. _Oh crud. I am so dead_. "You're majesty, I'm so sorry!"

Yakko blinked. "Why? I hit you." Suddenly voices could be heard calling his name from around the corner.

"Oh dang it! Come on!" Val suddenly found herself being dragged by the king around the second floor, stopping every few minutes, listening for voices._ Oh well. Might as well have fun before I lose my head._

"There, I think we lost them. Sorry about the whole tackling you thing. I was just trying to save my dignity." Val blinked before looking behind her, next to her, than even under her foot. "Are you…talking to me?'

Yakko laughed. "Yeah. What's your name?"

Val swallowed before bowing. Yakko caught her shoulders, making her stand up. "I asked your name, not for you to bow. And don't call me your highness because I'm tired of butt jokes."

Val nodded. "I am Val Rocket, a dirty filthy cleaning maid." Yakko laughed. "Well you are now that I shoved your head in a mop bucket." Val looked down. Yakko tilted his head. "Wait, you're serious? But you're not dirty or filthy at all! I mean, except for what I did to you. Actually…you're pretty cute."

Val's face heated up a thousand degrees. She was going to die and then come back to be killed again for this. "You're majesty, I ask you not call me that." Yakko smiled. "Too modest huh? Okay, I'll play along. So how come I've never met you before?"

Val shrugged. "I'm a dirty filthy cleaning maid?" Yakko shook his head. " You need a new line. How about pretty red headed girl who I just met?"

Val giggled despite herself. " That's probably too long." Yakko smiled at her giggle. "Yeah but it's a real self-esteem boost. Listen, I have to go."

Val nodded, surprised she was upset by this.

"Can I see you again sometime?" Yakko asked hopefully. Val gaped than shook her head fast, backing up against the wall. "That would be a bad idea."

"Why? I like you and you seem like the only slightly normal person here. What's the bad idea in getting to know you?"

Val shook her head before turning down the first corridor she saw, running to get away from a weird feeling she was too scared to think about.

**Well there you go! Chapter 3! I was hoping to make up for the short chapters and get the plot rolling at the same time so high-five for me! Keep reviewing please.**


	4. Random Moments In a Day

**I'm back and you know what's up? Chapter 4 is up sweethearts! I'm begging you, please review me! I crave your attention! Anyways, back to the story…**

Royal Pains Chapter 4

After Val left Yakko, she thought the weird nauseous feeling in her belly would go away. She hoped to forget the silly little moment she had had with him and get back to the previously scheduled program of cleaning and staying out of people's way. That's what she was good at anyways. Actually, Val was terrible at staying out of people's way. She had a knack for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Always. Val remembered when she was a little girl going to the parade in town and guess who just happened to be standing there when the clown decided to have the stomach flu? Val knew from experience that clown vomit was definitely NOT the kind of gag that made people laugh.

She sighed._ Perfect thought Val. Great thing to remind yourself of when you have a nauseous stomach. Try thinking of the opposite of barf. _

Val closed her eyes and she was imagining Yakko tripping over her again. Calling her cute…

_Oh I am soooo screwed. No way am I falling for this. I just met him and I'm just flattered that he complimented me. Being used to Giselle's constant insults made me unprepared for a nice comment. There is no reason to act so weird over it._

Val got back to trying to scrub a stain from the kitchen floor. _I wonder if he likes red heads? He probably adores Giselle! She's such an ugly…._

Forget it. She told herself. Let it go. Are you really that easy? Where is your pride and dignity?

_I'm a cleaning maid. What dignity? _

You can't let yourself get caught up in a nice moment. You don't want to get thrown out of the castle. Remember the last job you got fired from?

_Hey! That's not fair! My boss got what was coming to her. I'd like to see her cut my salary NOW!_

Val smiled to herself. _I'm crazy arguing with myself. I'm just gonna forget this day ever happened. I never met the king and if I see him and run away, it's simply because I'm allergic to royalty. That'll work. _

…

Wakko whistled a cheery tune as he strolled through the castle halls. Unlike his brother, Wakko didn't really mind the clothes he was given and he felt like strolling through the castle in his fancy new tights. Everything about this place was awesome. Except for Helga that is. Wakko shuddered and made a mental note to call up his old "friend" Slappy Squirrel to stick some dynamite in her pants. He'd do it himself but Wakko felt no desire to be anywhere near Helga's pants. (G'night everybody!)

Thinking of Helga made Wakko think of Mr. Mousy (Yakko had passed along the nickname to his sibs) and thinking of Mr. Mousy made Wakko think of a mouse he had seen carrying a piece of cheese. And that piece of cheese made Wakko think _Boy am I hungry from all this thinking!_ So he headed down to the kitchen. When Wakko got in there, he saw that it appeared deserted and he headed for the pantry he knew was in back. _I wonder if they have any more chocolate fountains? I could go for 2 or 3 of those. _

Wakko was so engrossed in the thought of food he didn't notice the red headed maid scrubbing floors until he tripped over her, and she fell face first into her mop bucket.

…

_It's the upchucking clown all over again!_

"Really? I can't even go a day without getting drenched by mop water? What do you want?" Val screeched as she flung her sopping wet hair from her eyes. Wakko gulped.

"Sorry."

Val saw who it was and covered her mouth with her hand. Oops. _Well you know what they say. What doesn't kill you, probably exceeds in the second attempt. _

"Y-your majesty! I'm so sorry!" Val bowed in the mop water, getting her front wet in the process.

Wakko tilted his head, confused. "Why are you sorry? I tripped over you." Val stopped forcing herself to grovel for his forgiveness and looked at him, interest sparking in her odd violet eyes.

"You sound a lot like… never mind. I'm sorry to have been in your way. I'll leave now."

Wakko stopped her. "Hold on. Can you do me a favor?"

Val nodded.

"Do you know if this place has any chocolate fountains?"

…

"Good night Dot. Sleep tight." Yakko tucked Dot into her big majesty bed. Dot batted her eyes.

"Do I even have to ask?"

Yakko sighed. "Dot, I think our readers have heard your story enough times."

"But I'm adorable and everyone eats up our brother and sister bonding scenes."

Yakko nodded thoughtfully. "That's true. Fans tend to melt for that Disney crud we shove down their throats in these sort of moments. Alright. Sappy music please."

A sweet music began to play in the background and Yakko sat on Dot's bed and she snuggled into his side.

"Once upon a time…there was a little ugly duckling,"

Dot punched him. "Not that story!"

Yakko rubbed his arm. "Okay fine! Jeez you don't have to beat me up."

Dot put on her cutie face. "Tee hee."

Yakko cleared his throat. "Once upon a time, a brave knight married a beautiful princess and they had two sons."

"But they wanted something adorable too!" Dot added. Yakko laughed.

"Right. So they planted a garden all over the kingdom and on the first day of spring, every flower in that garden bloomed. And out of the prettiest flower came none other than Michelle Pfeiffer."

Dot scowled and went to punch him again. Yakko laughed, "Oh, that's right. It was you. My bad."

Dot gave him evil eyes that could scare the devil. Yakko tickled her playfully.

"I'm just hamming it up to make the scene more interesting for people who know you're story word for word sister sibling. No harm done."

Dot sighed. "Continue."

Yakko grinned. "So mom and dad took you home and every night at bedtime they'd come in and say 'who's the cutest girl?' And you'd say…"

"I am."

"And they'd ask 'how's you ever get so cute?' And you'd say…"

"I was born that way." Dot answered proudly.

"And they'd say 'tell us your name.' and you'd say…"

"Princess Angelina Contessa Luisa Banana- no wait. It's Franch- …Fanana? I uh… AHHHHHH!" Dot clutched her head in frustration and Yakko laughed.

"Still don't have that down huh? Maybe you should read your script instead of going out on another hot date with Brad Pitt."

"So sue me for having a social life." Dot frowned. "Besides, we can't all be the masters of tongue twisters Mr. United States Canada Mexico Panama."

Yakko just smiled. "You're awfully cute when you're angry. "

Dot batted her eyes. "Yeah I know."

**Aw brother sister love. I snuck a few jokes in from the Animaniacs episode Cutie and the Beast so please don't sue me. Anyways, the next chapter will be right back on track with the story. As always, PLEASE REVIEW! **


	5. Maids gone AWOL and Marrying Flamingos

**Hellooooo amigos. I'm not about to let so few reviews bring me down! I'm gonna keep writing till I die. Or until Sarah Palin does the polka on a pogo stick, whichever comes first. Thanks again weirdsib for reviewing my page. To all readers, check out weirdsib's story Colorless. It's a real heart racer. But I won't give it away before you read it. Now on to my story…**

Royal Pains Chapter 5

Val had heard the news that their royal majesties would be in a big meeting that day with Sir Figglesworth from Ticktockia so she made a huge effort to be as far away from the meeting hall as necessary. Some would call her paranoid, but they probably didn't know her. Val had bad luck. Plain and simple.

So she decided today was the day to clean the stable windows, hundreds of feet from the castle walls. No way would Val get thrown into a mop bucket today. She tried not to think of all the horse patties that were a much bigger possibility.

Val scrubbed the windows as she watched Pinky, the royal stable mouse brush Pharfignewton the horse with a brush much too big for him. He fell off the wall repeatedly but kept climbing back up to brush her more.

_Now that's love. Or maybe he's just stupid… _Val continued to watch as the prime minister Brain came in to visit with the stable mouse. She couldn't here what they were saying but Brain suddenly whacked Pinky over the head with the brush and they left to do something. Probably something evil. Val washed the windows as she whistled: They're Pinky, They're Pinky and the Brain Brain Brain Brain Brain.

…

Sir Figglesworth set the contract and pen side by side as he awaited for the Warners to arrive for the meeting. The plan was so simple. He would tell the 3 silly rulers of the law that states the eldest heir must marry before his 16th birthday. He had done the math and Yakko would be 16 in only a month and a half. When they heard the news, the Warners will more than willingly give him the throne. And if that isn't enough to convince them, meeting the future bride will have King Yakko running for the hills.

"DADDY!" Sir Figglesworth grimaced. "Yes fruitcake Henrietta my darling?" Sir Figglesworth's daughter waddled into the room, a large, pink ball.

Henrietta was fat. She also loved pink which is why she was sometimes mistaken for a pregnant flamingo. She always expected to get her way because she always did.

"When is my new hubby getting here?"

Sir Figglesworth had yet to tell his beloved daughter that her future husband would be long gone before the wedding day. He planned on making it up to her by buying her another unicorn.

"Sugar he'll be here momentarily."

Henrietta flicked her blond ringlets that circled her face. She looked like Shirley temple, super sized.

"Well he had better be as handsome and dreamy and RICH as I've been told. I'm not giving all of THIS to just anyone." Henrietta plopped her "this" in the overstuffed armchair, making it sag a bit.

"Don't worry muffin. You will meet him." _And then I will rule this nation!_

…

Yakko glanced at the clock, not exactly thrilled to go see Sir Fiddlesworth or whatever his name was again. In fact, he would much rather be looking for that Val girl. He hadn't seen her since they were running around hiding from people. That was probably the most fun he had had since he got to this place. _Besides, and I think she digs me._ Yakko thought with a smile. So he set off to find her, the meeting out of his mind.

…

Val lowered her guard, happy to be in the sun. She hadn't felt this good in ages so she decided to take care of other garden things in her spare time. She knew it was the gardeners job to spruce up the hedges but seeing as he spent his work days flirting with the kitchen maid, Val figured he wouldn't mind. She snipped and whistled cheerily and felt a sharp tap on her shoulder. She turned and screamed, almost taking Yakko's eye out with the hedge clippers. Thankfully, he ducked in time but and Val dropped the hedge clippers.

"Okay. Lesson learned. Never surprise Val when she's holding gardening equipment."

Val was gasping, backed right up to the rose bushes. "What are you doing here? I mean that uh…I should go." Val turned to leave but Yakko caught her hand. "Hey relax. I just wanted to come say hi. I don't bite…unless you beg me to." His voice was low, teasing.

Val swallowed. _Don't blush don't blush don't blush._

"You're blushing."

_Dang it. _

"I really have a lot to do. And aren't you supposed to join your brother and sister for the meeting with Ticktockia's prime minister?"

Yakko put a hand to his throat, touched. "I didn't know you were keeping tabs on me. I'm flattered. Now come on, let's have some fun."

Val shook her head, picking up the hedge clippers. "I need to work."

Yakko grabbed the hedge clippers from her and backed away. "You can't work without you're clippers."

"Your majesty give those back please."

"Call me Yakko."

"No."

"Please?"

"What? No."

"Okay fine. Bye bye." Yakko took off running through the garden with her hedge clippers. Val was furious. How dare he steal from her? Royalty or not she was getting those clippers back!

Val sprinted after him than stopped. Where did he go?

"Hi!" Yakko swung down from a tree and Val jumped, catching his leg. "Give me back those clippers! I can't work without them!"

Yakko grinned. "That's the point."

Val released him and jumped down, her arms crossed impatiently as he swung down like a monkey.

"You're highness may I please have my clippers back?"

Yakko gasped. "How dare you call me that? I've never been so insulted in my life. Tell you what, call me Yakko and keep calling me Yakko forever and I'll give you your precious hedge clippers."

Val raised an eyebrow. "No catch?" Yakko nodded. "One. You have to let me take you somewhere fun. No working, no calling yourself a filthy maid, just Yakko and Val having a good time."

Val swallowed. "I would get in a lot of trouble."

"Me too." Yakko grinned. "Is it a deal?"

She paused, scared to say yes but more scared of saying no. What if she never got this opportunity again?

"Deal…Yakko." Val got a weird thrill from saying his name and Yakko tossed the hedge clippers to the ground. "Come on." He grabbed her hand and they ran out of the castle boundaries and into Acme Falls.

…

"Where the blazes is he?" Sir Figglesworth paced as Wakko and Dot sat, confused that their brother didn't show. The last they heard he was going for a walk around the castle and would be back soon.

"Maybe he had to go potty." Wakko offered. Dot raised an eyebrow.

"For a half an hour?"

"Well he did eat a lot of pastries this morning. Maybe he got…backed up."

Dot gagged. "Please PLEASE don't go there!"

"Enough! One of you, go find you're brother. It is very urgent he be here."

Dot pouted. "Why? Aren't we enough for you Figgy?"

Sir Figglesworth flushed red at his nickname. "Yes of course my Queen but you're brother is the eldest heir and should be informed of all decisions at the time of being presented."

"Did you understand any of that?" Wakko asked. Dot sighed.

"He said big brother's in charge so go drag his butt back here."

"Oh. I didn't catch that. Okay let's go. Can we pick up some food on the way back? I'm starving!"

…

Yakko showed Val all over Acme Falls. He wanted her to meet his old friends, the shops that had recently reopened, and his old home.

"You lived here?" Val whispered as Yakko led her into the dilapidated old water tower.

"Yeah. Gross huh? I can't believe it's still here. Oh look, Wakko's harp." Yakko strummed the strings on the back of the mattress bed to a soft sweet tune. Val watched him in awe. She hadn't realized he had lived just like her before he became royalty. It made her feel…closer to him. Yakko sighed, taking her hand in his. Val stiffened but didn't pull away. They walked through the rooms, both deep in thought.

"I never want to come back here. I never want my sibs to come back here ever again."

Val smiled. "You won't have to you're majesty."

Yakko shot her a look and Val blushed. "Oops. I forgot." Yakko smiled, the mood lightening.

"That's okay. You must be starving. Come on, Barren Von Plotz's burger place is open."

"Do you know him well?"

"Yeah. He did my taxes."

…

"Where the heck is he? I'm gonna throttle my brother when I get my hands on him!" Dot shrieked. Wakko shrugged, silent as usual.

"Maybe he fell asleep or is following that maid Giselle around."

At hearing her name, Wakko sighed. "Ahhh Giselle." Dot glared at him.

"Boys go fig."

…

"Where is that stupid ungrateful waste of a maid?" Giselle shrieked as she went through the line of workers. Val was nowhere to be found. "SHE IS SO DEAD!"

…

Val couldn't stop smiling as Yakko walked her home, both of them hand in hand.

"I had a lot of fun Yakko."

Yakko smiled at her, his eyes droopy and lovesick. "Me too. Can I see you again?"

"We'll see."

Yakko grinned. "Better than the last time I asked you. At least you aren't running away."

Val nudged his shoulder and he nudged her back. "I really like spending time with you. It's weird. I've seen lots and lots of pretty girls and I mean tons-"

"Get to the point please." Val frowned, clearly not thrilled. Yakko touched her hair.

"What I'm saying is, I've seen a lot of pretty girls, but none of them have ever made me feel the way I do about you. You're like a hot fudge sundae, sweet and cool yet soft warm."

"Nice example. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you want to eat me."

"Well…" They laughed as Yakko brought her to the maid's chambers.

"Goodnight Val. I'll look for you tomorrow." Val sighed.

"Okay." Yakko leaned in and touched a kiss to her cheek, making Val's insides feel like an earthquake hit.

"Sleep well." He whispered before leaving her for the night. Val sighed as she opened the door, humming a love song as she flicked on the lights. _It would take a catastrophe to ruin this night._

Val saw Giselle first, than the pink slip. Hello catastrophe.

…

Yakko was grinning from ear to ear as he went to his bedroom. Wakko, Dot, and Figglesworth were all there waiting for him. "What is this some sort of slumber party?" Yakko grinned. Sir Figglesworth came forward with a huge fat girl in tow.

"Meet you're future wife."

**Dum dum DUM! There you have it. Will Yakko and Val's love be crushed before it can even bloom? Will Yakko marry the pregnant flamingo? Will Wakko ever stop being hungry? Just you wait and see. By the way….REVIEW!**


	6. Marriage and Saying Goodbye

**Hello again everyone! I'd just like to say-**

_**Hey! Writer person! I wanna talk to you! (**_**Yakko stomps in.)**

**Um… how did you get out of the story?**

_**Never mind that. What are you thinking leaving off where you did? I don't want to marry some snobby fat chick!**_

_**Yeah! **_**(Val walks in.) **_**And making ME get fired! Do you have a screw loose?**_

**Relax you two. The story has just begun. Besides, no one would be interested if there wasn't a good twist.**

**(Yakko crosses his arms.)**_** Well I still don't like it. But while I'm here… helloooooo fan ladies! If you want to see a little more of me, just stop by the Warner Brother Water Tower located in Burbank California!**_

**(Val punches him.)**_** Pig!**_

_**What did I say?**_

**Um hello? Will you two just shut up and get back in the story? I have a reputation to uphold.**

_**Whatever but I'm calling my agent!**_** (Val stomps out.)**

**(Yakko blows a kiss before leaving.)**

**FEW! Well now that they're gone, we can get back to the story. Enjoy!**

Royal Pains Chapter 6

Yakko blinked. "Marriage huh? Sorry but I don't plan on getting married for a long long time. Probably forever. It's not me, it's you." Yakko looked Henrietta up and down. "Yeah definitely you."

Henrietta's face turned red and she glared at him before turning to her dad.

"DADDY! You said I would get a proper HUSBAND!"

Sir Figglesworth swallowed. _Here it comes…_

"Henrietta my darling, why don't I buy you another unicorn?"

"I don't WANT another UNICORN! I want a husband!"

Wakko and Dot looked at each other. "Why would you want to marry Yakko? He's a total bum."

"Hey I am not!" Yakko glared at his younger siblings. Dot shot him a look to keep quiet.

"He's always late, eats like a pig, never bathes, and he's always fawning over every girl that walks by."

Yakko shrugged. "Tis true. I be nothing but a waste of air. You wouldn't want me."

Henrietta frowned. "Oh yes I would. I don't care if you are awful. You're stinking rich and when I marry you, I'd become queen."

Sir Figglesworth gaped. _Why didn't I think of that? If She marries him, than I will be even closer to the seat of power! Genius!_

"Yeah but um…" Yakko shrugged. "Well…there's someone else."

Wakko and Dot exchanged a look. "So THAT'S why you were so late. Well who is she?"

"Is she a princess?" Wakko grinned. Yakko shook his head, a smile on his lips. "Her name is Val. And she's amazing. I took her to Acme Falls today and she's so fun."

"Again, is she a princess?"

Sir Figglesworth bit his nails in fear but relaxed when he heard what Yakko said.

"She's a maid."

Sir Figglesworth and Henrietta laughed at this. "A maid? Please!"

"Y-your majesty, someone with your stature can't possibly marry a maid!"

"Again, who said anything about marriage?"

Sir Figglesworth took out a legal contract. "As ruler of Warnerstock, it is law that you marry by your 16th birthday or else give up your crown along with your siblings."

Yakko exchanged a shocked look with his siblings. Dot pouted. "But I like being a queen."

"Are you kidding me? I'm only a kid! I don't to marry!"

Sir Figglesworth shrugged. "I'm terribly sorry. So when shall I send out the wedding invitations?"

Henrietta squealed and grabbed Yakko in a choke hold. He gagged. "H-hold on here! How come I have to marry HER?" Henrietta flicked her hair and batted her eyes. "Don't act like you don't want me."

Wakko made a gagging noise and Dot was still irritated looking with the whole problem.

"How is it you're just telling us this now?" She asked. Yakko yanked himself from Henrietta's grasp.

"Yeah Figgy. How come?"

"Look your royal majesties must understand I do not write the rules. I only enforce them. As prime minister, I assure you I am only doing my job."

"Well we have a prime minister too." Yakko said. Right on cue, prime minister Brain came in wearing a powdered wig and carrying a rule book. "Good evening. I believe I was summoned."

"This is ridiculous!" Sir Figglesworth stuttered.

"Indeed, the royal rulers not being told in advance is preposterous. But I can assure you, when I take over the kingdom, such rules shall not apply." Brain set down the rule book. "But in the meanwhile, it is my official duty to look upon such rules. Now I must have absolute silence."

Everyone waited as Brain looked up the laws of Warnerstock. "Ah, I see. Yes, it is stated that eldest heir must marry before his 16th birthday. I do not, however see a law stating he must marry the prime minister's daughter of another nation."

"Ha!" All three Warners said at once. "So I do have to marry though." Yakko's ears drooped and his siblings sighed.

"We could just give up the throne." Wakko suggested, sadness in his eyes. Dot looked like she was about to cry. Yakko shook his head. "No. One of the places Val and I went was the old water tower. Wakko, Dot, as your older brother I'm responsible for you and I'm never bringing us back to that old dump ever again."

"So you will marry my daughter. After all, she is the only one eligible."

Brain shook his head. "The rules do not state a specific eligibility for a bride. King Yakko may take his choosing from anyone…Even a maid." Everyone went quiet for a moment.

"Well since I have apparently created an awkward silence, I shall leave to go work on my plans. Good day." Brain left. Sir Figglesworth was sweating bullets now. _This cannot be happening._

"You can go now." Yakko said as he stared out the window, suddenly speechless.

…

Val packed her bags slowly, fighting the tears that threatened to overflow. _I will not cry. It's just another failed job._

But Val knew it wasn't the job she was crying for. She was going to miss Yakko. After Giselle caught her and gave her the pink slip, Val sat on her bed for an hour, touching the cheek he kissed.

Why? Why why WHY did Giselle have to be there? Anyone else would have given her another chance. But not her. Giselle was probably waiting for her to slip up. Val looked around the empty little room one last time before walking outside. She looked up at the castle, seeing a light on in the tower and imagining it was Yakko, looking for her. _Goodbye…_

Val left the gates, nowhere to go, but still trudging forward.

**Review please!**

_**Hey you!**_

**Uh oh gotta go. Bye!**


	7. Taking action, Yakko style

**Guess who's back with chapter 7. Don't worry about our little problem last chapter. I've personally made sure that every character is staying in their story-**

_**That's what YOU think! (**_**Dot comes in holding a mallet.)**

**(I gulp.) Uh oh. **

_**Don't worry, I'm just here to tell you I want a chapter to myself…or else.**_

**Um well I actually kind of got a plan for this chapter. How'd you get out anyways? **

_**I have my ways. Give me more lines or I'll be back. Cutie out. **_**(Dot leaves.)**

**Ugh these diva actors give me such a headache. Well I guess I have to re-edit a portion of the chapter but I am NOT giving up the whole chapter so GET OVER IT! Enjoy and thanks for reviewing. Remember I accept all critics that can help make this even better. Bye for now.**

Royal Pains Chapter 7

Yakko stood looking outside his bedroom window. It was hours after everyone had left and he couldn't sleep. He couldn't stop thinking. _I don't want to get married. And I DEFINITELY don't want to marry Henrietta. But I can't have us sent back to the water tower. Wakko and Dot love it here…and I even kind of love it here. _

Yakko sighed. Well you know what they say. When life gives you lemons, go visit the maid…or something like that.

He left to go see Val, not really sure what he even was going to say to her.

_How about this: Hey girl, I bet you would look GREAT in white…nah. How about 'The night is so pretty. And you know what else is pretty? Weddings. Say… how about we have one?_

Yakko shook his head. _I have never once in my life ever used a pick up line to propose to someone. You just don't go there. I'm a LADY'S MAN for pete's sake. Not a LADY man. I just can't handle commitment. _

Yakko thought of Val's face as he walked to meet her. She was really pretty. And maybe he did sort of like her more than the other girls. But marriage? Yuck!

He reached the maids' chambers and swallowed before knocking softly. Here it goes…

…

Giselle looked around the empty room with satisfaction. _Finally! She's gone!_ _I'm RID of that smart alec forever! _

Giselle heard a knock on the door and frowned. Who in the world would be coming here?

She opened the door to see King Yakko on his knees with a huge bushel of flowers in front of him.

"Okay so I know we just met each other but I would really really like it if you would marry me. Good deal?" Yakko looked around the flowers and blinked. "Oh. Whoops. It seems I proposed to the wrong girl. This is sounding even more like a soap opera every second."

"Your royal majesty!" Giselle gasped.

"Now before you get too excited, this was meant for Val, sorry. Is she here?" Yakko peeked around her and Giselle's face turned dark red. "V-Val? Why in the WORLD would you POSSIBLY wish to marry her your majesty? She's a filthy maid."

"You too? Yeesh you guys don't let a thing go do you? So I shoved her head in a mop bucket ONCE. Anyways, I really need to see her before I chicken out of this and pack my bags. Where is she?"

"She's been fired."

Yakko gaped. "What? Why?"

"She wasn't back at her designated curfew. It wasn't the first time she has acted out. I'm terribly sorry your majesty." _Thank goodness I fired that mop rat when I did!_

"Well do you know where she went?" Yakko asked desperately. Giselle shook her head a bit too quickly. Yakko smelled a lie. _Time to put these king powers to use._

"Maid, you understand that lying to your king would be the most terrible of crimes that won't go unpunished. Tell me the truth, that's an order!" Yakko's voice was shockingly stern and Giselle quivered.

"S-she came to the kingdom from a small town called Pintonville. She doesn't have any family that we know of and the town name was all we really know about her at all. Odds are she would have gone there."

Yakko sighed, dropping his head in his hands._ I just CAN'T win!_

"Sire?"

"No thanks. I'm not in the mood."

Giselle was confused. "Huh?"

Yakko sighed. "Oh never mind. I have to go find Val. Thanks for helping. By the way… nice um, 'mouth'" (Gotta stick to the censors tee hee).

Yakko ran back to the castle as fast as his legs could carry him.

…

Dot posed in the mirror as she stared at her unbelievable cuteness.

_Happy now?_(I ask bitterly) Dot shushes me. "I'm in character!"

_Actors…_

Anyways, Dot was staring at herself when Yakko came in, flopping on the bed in frustration. Dot smirked. "I take it you rejected. Don't take it too hard big brother. We can't all be as unbelievably irresistible as me. Some girls got it, all BOYS don't."

Yakko chucked a pillow at her. "She didn't say no. In fact, I don't even know where she is. She left the castle."

Wakko came in, sitting in an arm chair before taking a big bite out of the seat cushion. He burped.

"She ran off when you asked her? I'm sorry big brother. I guess it just takes a certain kind of guy to woo a woman." Wakko posed, flashing a smooth smile. Dot laughed. "You? Please! Girls run away the second they're within smelling distance of you."

"Yeah but before that they simply can't stay away."

Yakko groaned. "Odd enough sibs, this isn't helping me. I have to find Val and all I have to go by is the town of Pintonville…wherever the heck that is. And then I have to get her to agree to marry me even though I have got to be the worst guy in the WORLD at this sort of thing. And than, if by some miracle Val is stupid enough to agree, I have to actually go THROUGH with it! And I have to do all this before my 16th birthday which is only a month away!" Yakko gasped, having said all of that in one breath. Dot sighed.

"Well I'm not sure how to find her, but when you get Val back here, I'll talk you through the whole love thing. I happen to be VERY talented in that sort of thing." Dot brushed an imaginary fleck of dust off her shoulder. Yakko smiled tiredly. "Thanks Dot."

"No problem. But I'm going to have to know everything you know about her. So tell me about her."

Yakko frowned, thinking. "Well… she has curly red hair, purple eyes, a very fiiiiine bod-"

"No no no I meant what she LIKES! Not what she looks like!"

Wakko smiled. "She sounds like she looks good. Maybe she likes pretty things."

Yakko shrugged. "I don't know. Actually, all I really know is that she's super fun to be around and that she worked as a maid. Nothing else."

"Oh you two are perfect for each other!" Dot rolled her eyes. Yakko glared at her.

"Give me a break! I only met the girl two days ago! You think when I met her I was thinking that I should study everything about her because, 'hey! maybe I'm gonna end up having to marry her!'"

"Hey instead of arguing, shouldn't you be looking for her?" Wakko but in.

"Yeah! Let's go to Pintonville."


	8. No Disney Princess

**Howdy my friends and kind reviewers. I am BACK baby! Chapter 8 is up! Now that our little "pest" problem is taken care of, I shall continue on with my story. Enjoy and review please. **

Royal Pains Chapter 8

"Okay so where the heck is Pintonville anyways?" Dot grumbled as Yakko and Wakko looked over a map.

"Well I'm not sure since Wakko here just took a huge bite out of the northern borders." Yakko looked through a huge gaping hole in the map and glared at Wakko.

Wakko shrugged. "I was hungry."

They had been looking at maps and checking town names for three hours and still had no clue where Pintonville was. Yakko was even beginning to doubt it even existed. He wondered if Val even would go back there if she lived in such a place. Then it hit him. She wouldn't go back.

"She's not in Pintonville for two reasons. First, it doesn't exist."

"That's a pretty good reason." Dot nodded.

Yakko ignored her. "The second would be because she would go where there is work. And right now, the top place for work is…"

…

_Acme Falls. Such a nice town. And so far I haven't been thrown into a mop bucket once! I'm loving this place!_

Val smiled as she stood cashier in Barren Von Plotz's burger place. Sure the job was a bit humiliating what with the paper hat and greasy work clothes but hey, it was work and work meant money and money meant Val wasn't wrestling the cockroaches for garbage out of the bins anymore. Val shuddered. Those were bleak times even for her.

Two rather fat hippos stomped into the restaurant to order and Val had to look straight up to smile at the blue one. "Good afternoon sir. Welcome to Plotz's burgers where you practically hand over your wallet but hey, at least now you can eat too." Val came up with that herself. No one said living from paycheck to paycheck couldn't have it's kicks.

"Oh Flavio what shall we eat today?" The purple hippo asked.

"Marita darling, anything you ask is yours." The blue hippo kissed the purple one's hand.

"Oh well in that case…"

Three hours later…

"MY ENTIRE INVENTORY IS DEMOLISHED! YOU'RE FIRED!"

"Hey hey hey hold on a minute! You specifically told me that whatever the customer wants, they get!" Val glared at the tiny bald man who's face was like a sweaty tomato.

"Not when they want to eat the entire store!"

"They're hippos what did you expect? If you're so racist about hippos, maybe you should have a sign. Must be 400 pounds or lighter to eat at this restaurant!"

"Don't use that smart talk with me! Go get your stuff and get out!"

"I want my paycheck first!" Val stuck out her hand stubbornly. Plotz glared at her, shoved his hand in his pocket, and dropped 35 cents in change into her palm. Val looked at it and blinked.

"You've got to be kidding me. This couldn't even get me the wrapper on a piece of gum!"

"Well maybe you should have thought about that before handing over my entire store! Now get out before I decide to make you pay for every sesame seed on every last bun!"

Val balled up her fist, tempted to make a target but forced herself to turn on her heels and walk out with dignity. As soon as she got outside, she looked down and saw she was still wearing the ugly uniform and smiled.

"Come one come all! Everything 99 percent off at Plotz's Burger place! Get um while they're hot!" Val shouted to all the villagers within hearing distance and they came running at full speed to the restaurant, scrambling to get their cheap food. Val smiled with satisfaction when she heard her new ex boss scream in terror. _Music to my ears._

…

Yakko, Wakko, and Dot arrived in town and saw nothing out of the ordinary. They began their search at food stands, bakeries, tailor shops. Nothing.

"This is taking too long. Can we stop and eat? I'm hungry." Wakko pouted. Yakko sighed.

"Sure."

They headed down to Plotz's and saw that it was packed with angry villagers all wanting food.

"Looks like old Plotzy bit off more than he could chew." Dot mused.

"Couldn't of happened to a nicer ex tax collector." Yakko grinned. They entered the store and everyone turned gaping upon seeing the 3 rulers.

"It's them! Everyone out of the way!" All the villagers made a path so the Warners could get through. Yakko looked unimpressed, Wakko hungry, and Dot was happily blowing kisses at all her loyal subjects. They walked up to the register where Plotz was shaking like a tiny tea cup Chihuahua.

"Hiya Plotzy. Can we eat?"

"I-I'm so sorry your majesty but I don't have anything left! A foolish girl I just fired sold my entire stock to those 2 hippos! I have nothing left!"

Yakko froze. "Wait…did she sell those curly fries too?"

Plotz nodded.

"Darn." Yakko frowned. "Well sibs I guess we'll have to eat somewhere else. Than we'll keep looking for Val. She's gotta be here somewhere."

Dot smacked her palm against her forehead. "Oh my gosh this is ridiculous. Plotz who was the foolish girl you fired?"

"She had red hair, she was tiny, and she had a sarcastic attitude."

Yakko tapped his finger against his chin. "Huh. I wonder if that's Val."

"No duh Sherlock Holmes. Let's go!" Dot grabbed Yakko and Wakko and they ran outside. Wakko whined. "But I'm hungry!"

…

Val sat in the alleyway staring at the 35 cents in her hand. _I guess I can make due until I find another job. There's plenty of other places to try._

Val tried not to think about how she would go hungry again. She tried but focusing on not being hungry made her belly yell for attention and she curled up on an old newspaper and tried to sleep. _It's just not fair. I try and try but I never win. I always get fired for some reason or another. Sure sometimes I ask for it but these last two jobs weren't really my fault! Why can't I just find something good and keep it?_

A cockroach skirted towards her and she frowned. _Great. Competition for the garbage again. Looks like I'm back to square zero. _

…

Yakko had the plan to split up and meet back in town square when they found her. Dot ran off to the jewelry shops, Wakko to the food stands (obviously), and Yakko ran to the places near their old home to see if anyone had seen her. He knocked on the acorn tree door, praying she could help.

'What?" Slappy glared when she opened the door. Yakko smiled. "Nice to see you too Slappy. Can you help me?"

"Can I? Yes. But will I? No."

"But-"

"Look kid I'm retired. I want to spend my time alone and helping people doesn't leave me much time to be alone now does it?"

"Look Slappy I'm just looking for a girl-"

"Yeah well good for you but leave me out of your love life!" Slappy slammed the door in Yakko's face, leaving him speechless and defeated. He wandered through town, too afraid to go to town hall and see that neither of his sibs had found her either. He just couldn't win. Yakko walked passed an alleyway and saw her, curled up against the dirty wall. He blinked to make sure it was really her than he sprinted for her.

"Val!"

Val jumped and grabbed an old pipe from the ground, still clearly dreaming. "Back off cockroaches it's MY garbage!"

Yakko laughed and grabbed the pipe. " You always have pointy things when I surprise you. Do you WANT to kill me?" Val blinked out of her daze.

"Yakko?"

"In the living handsome." Yakko grinned slyly. Val smiled and hugged him, happy to see at least one good thing in her life.

Yakko gagged. "You smell like a sewer."

Val glared and shoved him away. "Well excuuuuuuse me for being a jobless street rat."

"First you're a filthy maid now you're a jobless street rat. We need to work on your self esteem. Don't worry about the smell though. When we get you back to the castle, Dot'll be itching to give you a makeover."

"Back? I'm not going back." Val stepped away.

Yakko frowned. "What, would you rather live in an alleyway? Come on don't be stupid."

"I'm not stupid! I'm just not going to face Giselle ever again."

Yakko smiled, reaching for her hand. "You won't work as a maid Val. You'll be a personal guest of mine."

Val jerked her hand back from his pleasant touch. No way was she falling for his ways again.

"Thanks for the offer but I'd rather stay here."

Yakko laughed. "Good one. You almost had me fooled. Now come on."

"I said no." Val crossed her arms stubbornly.

Yakko gaped at her. "Are you SERIOUS? Val why in the world would you want to stay here when you can live like royalty?"

Val glared at him. "This is just a temporary set up. I'm not going back because I never look behind me and because I favor taking care of myself. I don't need to be whisked away like Cinderella. I have my own ways and I'm perfectly happy using them. Goodbye and enjoy being royal your HIGHNESS." Val stressed the last word, letting him know she got the joke and was using it.

Yakko stepped right up to her, his nose touching hers. "You're coming back with me whether you walk or if I have to drag you."

Val stared him down. "You wouldn't dare."

…

Wakko and Dot exchanged a look as they met in town hall. Neither of them had found Val and no one had seen her.

"I hope Yakko doesn't get too upset."

"We'll just invite some princesses to the castle." Dot shrugged. "He'll feel better."

Just then, Yakko joined them, with a burlap sack tossed over his shoulder. It was kicking a screaming a whole lot of profanities that definitely shouldn't be repeated.

"Hey guys ready to go?"

"Is that Val?" Wakko asked. The sack flailed and screamed. "PUT ME DOWN RIGHT NOW!"

"Um…yeah. Come on let's go before she knocks me out. I didn't think it would be this hard to woo a maid. But then again, Val isn't just any old maid."

Dot laughed as Yakko dragged the furious sack of Val to the castle.

_My brother better know what he's getting into. This girl is no Disney Princess. _


	9. Makeovers!

**Hello again everyone! Does the writing ever stop? Not in the near future anyways. Thanks for all your kind reviews so far and for the nice comments on my story. I try. (She says modestly) Anyways, enjoy and keep reviewing. See you soon. **

Royal Pains Chapter 9

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" Val was kicking and screaming with all her might and it took everything Yakko had to get her into the castle.

"Will you shut up?" He grumbled. That resulted in Val aiming a sharp kick at his nose.

"Ow!" Yakko clutched his nose and Wakko and Dot exchanged a look before laughing. Yakko glared at them. "Oh yeah real funny. If you don't mind, can you at least help me get this monster into Dot's room?"

"What? Why my room?"

"Because Yakko wants to see you die?" Wakko suggested. Dot punched him in the arm and Yakko sighed, frustrated.

"No. Because maybe a little girl time will calm her down."

"That's nice." Dot smiled sweetly. "Just one little question, where is she?"

Yakko looked down to notice she had slipped away while they were talking.

"Oh CRUD! Quick we gotta find her!"

Wakko laughed. "Found her."

They all turned to see a burlap sack ramming itself against the castle doors in a sad attempt at freedom. The sack sort of got dizzy after it's seventh time beating the door with it's head and it flopped down to the ground.

"She knocked herself out! Awesome!" Yakko picked up the now limp bundle and they made their way to their bedrooms.

Dot shook her head. "Yakko, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I honestly don't think Val will be all that thrilled to marry you after you stuffed her in a sack and dragged her here. Even after I help you woo her. There's only so much a genius can do."

Yakko smiled, not the least bit worried. "Sure she'll be a little cranky at first but once she sees how well I treat her and make her feel super special, she won't be able to resist my charms. After all, she fell for it before."

Wakko nodded. "Yeah but wasn't she a maid before?"

"Your point?"

"Well if she's treated like royalty, she may act like royalty and then see that there is a lot better out there to pick from."

They all stopped and Yakko shot him a deadly glare. "You know Wakko, I like it better when you don't talk."

They made their way up to the rooms where Yakko threw Val into Dot's room, maybe a bit too roughly. Dot wagged her finger at him. "That's no way to treat your future wife!"

"She's out cold, it doesn't matter. Now Dot, I'm leaving it up to you to calm her down. Give her a makeover or whatever it is you girls like to do. I'll come back in a few hours to see if she's willing to forgive and forget. Then we'll get the ball rolling. Deal?"

Dot sighed. "Oh all right. But don't blame me if you come back and she's still in the sack. After today, I'm a bit scared to know what she looks like."

Yakko batted her shoulder. "Good luck sis."

He and Wakko left and Dot turned to see the sack was beginning to stir. She swallowed. _Here goes everything. _

She carefully pulled off the knot to the top of the sack and Val shot up, gasping for air. Her hair was rumpled and in her eyes and her face was beat red, clashing with the fiery locks. She tumbled out of the bag and got up, whirling around. "Where is he?"

Dot batted her eyes innocently. "Who?"

"That no good kidnapping lady wooing back stabber!" Val ran for the door but Yakko had locked it from the outside. "Dang it!" Val let out a frustrated sigh, running her fingers through her hair, and flopping to the ground in angered defeat.

"Why did he bring me back here?"

"Because Yakko really likes you and doesn't want to see you living in an alleyway." Dot went through her bag of stuff and pulled out some hair curlers.

"I told him I can take care of myself and what the heck are you doing?"

Dot had been rolling curlers into Val's hair while she was talking and Dot smiled.

"Oh, nothing. Now stand still so I can make you beautiful."

After everything that had happened that day, Val was beyond caring about hair curlers so she let Dot roll her hair up while she talked.

"You're Queen Dot."

"The cutest Queen in the land." Dot smiled.

"Well it's a pleasure to meet you. I'm sure that you're a ton better than your brother, Boys…"

"…go fig." Dot finished. Val laughed. "Exactly. They aren't worth the crud they're made with. Your other brother Wakko isn't as bad though."

"You meet Wakko?"

"Yeah. He came into the kitchen while I was working and ate out our stock of chocolate fountains. It was pretty funny. Why are you washing my hair?"

Dot had taken out a portable sink and was in the process of washing out all the straw and bugs in Val's hair.

"I'm trying to clean you up. I swear something's living in here."

Val sighed, relaxing. "Yeah probably. It's not like alleyways have a ton of showers available ya know?"

Dot nodded. "After this, let's get you some new clothes."

"Why are you doing this for me?"

_Because I desperately need to be a Queen. _"Because I love helping people."

"Well that's very nice of you. Thank you."

Dot finished up her hair and they managed to find some clothes that Val liked. Dot was all about the pink but Val refused to wear it.

"Put that fabric anywhere near me and I'll freak. I don't do pink."

"But it would look so pretty with your hair color." Dot twirled the long satin gown in circles to show it off but Val refused. She went to the drawers herself and found a pair of artfully faded jeans. "Perfect."

"I don't even want to know what those were doing there!" Dot gasped, appalled by the casual clothes. Val fished around some more until she found a pretty cute lilac purple top with a belt around the middle.

"Perfect."

Dot frowned as Val left to change. _Clearly no fashion sense. _

When Val came back though, it was obvious she looked good in a casual sort of way. The lilac purple made her eye color pop and the jeans fit her slim figure just right. Val went to the mirror and Dot followed her. They stared at Val's new clothes for awhile before Val got down on her knees so Dot could pull the curlers out. Val's hair hung down in beautiful curls and waves, her natural hair. At least, when it was clean. "Thanks Queen Dot."

"Please. Call me your royal majesty." Dot giggled.

"Well um, thanks your royal majesty."

Dot was about to say something else when she looked up at the mirror and saw them side by side.

"You look a lot like me."

Val blinked. "What? That's ridiculous."

But it wasn't. Their faces were both that ghost white with the cherry red nose in the middle. Despite the hair and eye color difference, they were so similar it was scary. Same dog like ear and curly tail too. _I always wanted a sister. _Dot thought with a smile.

Suddenly, as if someone horrible wanted to destroy the moment (like me), Yakko stuck his head in the room and smiled. "Hellooooooo Val! Nice to see you out of the sack. You look hot!"

Val looked at him, the steam literally blowing from her ears as she jumped up to charge him.

"How DARE you!"

"Uh oh." Yakko gulped and booked it with Val close on his heels.

Dot felt a weird feeling in her tummy and she realized she hoped it really worked out for them. _A sister…_


	10. A lot alike, you and I

**Hi again to all those keeping up with my story. We are now at chapter 10! Yeah baby! I feel invincible! Well…sort of. Ha ha anyways thanks for reading and I hope to make every chapter better then the last. Read and review.**

Royal Pains Chapter 10

Sir Figglesworth sat at his desk, a miserable ball of fat. _I can't believe my entire plan was thwarted by a big headed rat and the King's stupid preference towards cleaning ladies. Why would he not marry my daughter? She's a jewel! After all, she did take after me. _

He sighed. Life just doesn't come easy for Figglesworth. It never had. Generations had passed with nothing but misfortune for his relatives and ancestors. The very reason he was prime minister of Ticktockia was because no on else wanted the job and now he saw why. The job was garbage. You got little pay and little recognition which made it hard to support Figglesworth's daughter who craved valuables and popularity.

_Why would he wish to marry a maid? She is completely replaceable. _Then it hit him. The maid WAS replaceable… if she was replaced and never heard from again.

Sir Figglesworth stood, a new idea in mind. If this maid named Val were to disappear only a few days from the wedding, his royal majesty would simply HAVE to marry Henrietta because no one else would marry him at such short notice. And the royal FOOL would be so scared to lose his throne he'd have no choice but to agree!

Sir Figglesworth jumped up and down with glee, making the couch in the corner bounce along with him. He ran out the room calling his daughter.

"Oh honey dumpling! Pack your bags! Daddy's going to get you a husband!"

…

Val sprinted after Yakko through the castle, fury plain in her face. Yakko glanced behind him after thinking he would lose her only to find she was hot on his trail. _If she didn't completely terrify me, I'd think she was super hot right now. _

Val's curly red hair was bouncy and her face now visible through the dirt and grime was actually quite pretty and sweet looking…if you got past the fire in her eyes and smoke steaming from her ears.

"I'm gonna murder you! How DARE you shove me in a sack and drag me here! And then to have the nerve to call me HOT! You're dead!"

"You're very cute when your angry." Yakko called over his shoulder. Val screamed in fury. _Okay so I guess that only works on Dot. Good to remember. _

After awhile they both got really tired and Yakko flopped to the ground, too tired to care about what she did to him. He was surprised to see her just flop to the ground next to him, gasping for breath.

"Your not gonna kill me?" Yakko asked. Val shot him a tired and frustrated look.

"Oh I am…I'm just tired. Give me a minute."

Yakko nodded. "Fair enough. Can I ask you some questions while you get your strength up to annihilate me?"

Val nodded. "Sure."

"How did you get to work as a maid?"

Val frowned, confused. "Why are you asking me that?"

Yakko shrugged. "I'm curious. It couldn't have been for your unique cleaning skills. I saw the streak marks on the floors. Sloppy work sweetheart." Yakko meant it as a joke but Val punched him anyways.

"Ouch! Jeez you sure aren't shy around me anymore are you?"

"Nope. I'm generally not polite to anyone and now that I know you don't plan to hang me, you're no longer the exception. As for the maid thing, I needed a job and I figured being a maid would be easy. Shows how much I know."

"Why do you travel everywhere for work? Don't you have a family?"

Val shot him a warning look. "Nosy aren't we?"

"I'm curious about you." It wasn't a lie. Yakko suddenly wanted to know everything about her.

"Well as a matter of fact I don't. My mother died when I was 3 of some form of cancer and I never even knew if I had a dad. When my mom died I was sent to an orphanage where I was placed in home after home. As soon as I was adopted, people would realize how much I was to handle and they'd send me right back. Like I was some broken toy or something. I always pretended not to care but seeing all my friends go to good homes every year made me feel worse and worse. So I left and decided that the only person who couldn't hurt me was myself. I've been working job after job since. I had just gotten fired from a bakery when I heard about the need for maids at the castle. And that's how I got where I am. I've always had to fend for myself, to be strong, to be a hard worker. I never had a chance to be a kid." Val looked down at her hands, embarrassed she just gave all of that way. _I can't believe I just said all that. He must think I'm some whiny windbag. He doesn't really care about me._ But when Val looked up and saw the look in his eyes, she realized that maybe he did.

"I think we have a lot more in common than you think." Yakko smiled sadly before gently taking her hand in his. Val swallowed, letting him trace the lines of her palm as he spoke.

"My parents died a long time ago when I was six, Wakko was three, and Dot was only five months old. We were placed in the Acme orphanage and it was hard. People made fun of us because of how we looked. I remember one specific time where some big bully was picking on Wakko because of his accent. I stood up for him, only to get 3 teeth knocked out. It was tough. When the orphanage shut down, it was even harder. We lived in the run down water tower and I often didn't eat at night because I had to provide for my younger sibs. I had to. There was no other alternative. If they didn't eat, I was a bad big brother. And I couldn't be a bad big brother. They needed me."

Val watched him, every trace of anger at Yakko wiped away. He knew what it was like to be grown up before you were ready to be. He understood.

Yakko pressed her hand to his cheek, leaning into it. "So I guess we're a lot alike you and I."

Val nodded slowly before taking her hand back. "I hadn't realized how hard it was for you."

"Yeah most people don't. I don't talk about it. In fact, I never did. I wouldn't let anyone see how badly we were doing. At that time in Acme Falls, everyone was poor. It's just that we were a little bit more." They sat in silence for a long time, both lost in their own thoughts. Val decided to break the silence.

"Sorry I tried to murder you."

Yakko smiled. "Sorry I tied you in a sack and dragged you here. Do you forgive me?"

"Is the sky blue?" Val smiled. Yakko surprised her by pulling her into a hug. She stiffened as his hands pressed to her back. She felt him nuzzle her hair and she slowly circled her arms around him and hugged him back. They sat like that, hugging, for a long time, neither one really wanting to stop. Yakko eventually pulled away first, clearing his throat. "Well that was um…well the sewer smell is gone."

Val rubbed her arm, the blush fading. "Yeah. Shampoo does that."

"It's a good touch. Hey, How about we go torture the gardener?"

"Sure." Val stood, eager to leave that weird feeling behind. Yakko was unusually silent as he tried to figure out exactly what that WAS. _Do I actually love her? Nah that's stupid…but then, what was that?_

…

What neither of the two had realized when they were talking was that someone was watching with acute interest. _So she thinks she can be royalty does she? Sorry sweetheart but this is no fairy tale. And ugly maids don't get the king._

Giselle left, determined to stop this before it began.

**Ooooo what will happen next? Sorry I know this wasn't a funny chapter but I felt that Yakko and Val needed a scene where they can truly be honest with each other. Forgive me and be kind please. Review. **


	11. Feelings

_**Why hello fans of Royal Pains. We're afraid that Animanizanny is a bit well, tied up at the moment (tee hee). Oh but don't worry. She'll be back just as soon as she decides to write more of ME INTO THE STORY!**_

**(Wakko storms in) **_**Dot you are such a control freak. I've hardly been in the story at all! Give the poor girl a break. She's trying. Besides, I think the story is great so far. Can I have my treat now?**_

**(I walk in and throw a treat to Wakko.) Good boy. And as for you, if you get me locked in a closet ever again, your career is over!**

**(Dot gives her best sad eyes and cutie face.)**_** I'm sorry.**_

**(I sigh, defeated.) It's alright. Now you two better get going before I go all kinds of ninja on your rears. (They leave.)**

**Alright now back to the story ha ha.**

Royal Pains Chapter 11

After they nearly made the gardener pee his pants from fright, Yakko and Val wandered through the garden, bored but happy. Val occasionally stole glances at Yakko from the side, hoping he didn't notice. Yakko would notice and be secretly pleased but pretend he wasn't paying attention.

_This is working out better than expected. I just need to get her to fall in love with me by Friday and I'll be right back on schedule. _Yakko made a note to put hiring a new gardener on his mental schedule. This one smelled liked pee.

Val hummed a song as they walked and Yakko smiled. "What'cha humming?"

"A song."

Yakko smiled. "Stupid questions earn stupid answers I suppose."

Val laughed and continued humming. Yakko waited for her to say something but she just kept on humming.

"Aren't you going to tell me what song you're humming?"

"No." Val smiled smugly. Yakko looked at her.

"Why?"

Val stopped humming to stare at him. "Because if I told you, you'd stop caring. But since you don't know, it's all you can think about. And don't tell me otherwise because that's the way the world works. You always want more. But once it's attainable, you lose interest. I notice a lot of that in people actually. With money, possessions…girls." Val looked at Yakko as if to tell him something but Yakko looked more confused then ever.

"Okaaaaaaay. So…do you want to go give Mr. Mousy a wedgie or something? It would be pretty cool to see if his voice can actually go any higher."

Val sighed, her ears drooping slightly. "Not right now. I think I'm just going to walk around alone for awhile."

Yakko looked disappointed. "Are you sure?"

Val smiled. "Yep. I wouldn't want to be too attainable now would I? You might lose interest. Goodbye Yakko." Val tousled his hair before leaving him standing there, tongue tied and more than a little confused.

…

"Okay so how many was that?" Wakko belched and Dot gagged. "I don't know I blacked out after number twenty-five."

Yakko stomped in and flopped on the sofa in the corner of the room and Dot jumped up, glad to be saved from Wakko's belching contest with himself.

"So how'd your little date go?"

Yakko shot her a look. "It wasn't a date. In fact, I don't even know what to think about her. It started out she was trying to kill me than we sat and talked for a long time about where she came from and I realized that I really really like her and we hugged and all that romantic crud-"

"Oh yea! I am SO getting a sister!" Dot fist pumped the air and Wakko rolled his eyes.

"Big whoop. I already got one of those and she won't even count my burps for me."

Dot shushed Wakko and turned to her older brother. "So tell me, when's the wedding? What's she wearing? More importantly, what am I wearing? And if I'm not the maid of honor heads will roll!"

"DOT!" Yakko put his hand over her mouth. "Wow and people think I can't shut up."

Dot scowled at him and Yakko stuck his tongue out at her. Wakko flopped down next to Yakko on the sofa.

"So when's the wedding?"

Dot yanked his hand off her mouth. "Yeah. And YUCK! I don't even wanna KNOW where that hand's been today!"

"G'night everybody!" Yakko spoke his trademark line somewhat depressed.

"Sibs, there isn't a wedding…yet. Val is just so confusing. I asked her what song she was humming and she goes into this spiel about caring about the unattainable and not treasuring what is within easy reach. I just don't get it!"

Dot smacked her hand against her forehead. "Stupid!"

"Exactly! It IS stupid!"

Dot smacked him. "No I mean YOU'RE stupid!"

Yakko glared at her. "Hey!"

Wakko broke out laughing and they turned to him. "What are you laughing at?"

Wakko snickered. "Sorry. It's just that usually I'm the stupid one. It's pretty funny to see someone else for a change. Welcome to the club!" Wakko handed Yakko and I'm With Stupid t-shirt and Yakko threw it over his shoulder, turning back to Dot. "Why am I so stupid young lady?"

"Because Val was saying that she's scared to throw herself at you because then you'll lose interest."

Yakko blinked. "Wow. That is so like me isn't it? But…I don't think that would happen with Val. I actually really want her to like me. A lot." Yakko sighed, staring at his hands. "I just don't get it. My heart is racing, my palms are sweaty. I just can't play it cool around her. Val makes my stomach in knots and I can't focus…oh no! What if I'm allergic to her? What am I gonna do?"

"Easy big bro. Deep breaths. Wakko, we need a gag bag here stat."

Wakko took out his gag bag and Dot forced Yakko to lay down on the sofa.

"Wakko I need an ice pack."

'Got it." Wakko dug through the bag and pulled up an angry wolf. "Whoops. Pack of wolves."

He continued to search and pulled up and huge bag. "Backpack, old hat…baseball bat…"Wakko continued searching and found a pair of vibrating teeth. "Oh I need that for later." Wakko threw the teeth back in and Dot sighed. "TODAY Wakko!"

"Okay sheesh. Ah here we go. Ice pack." Wakko put the ice pack on Yakko's head. Yakko smiled.

"Thanks Wak."

Dot performed a series of tests on Yakko ranging from reflex to hearing exam.

"Well big brother, I've got some terrible news." Yakko swallowed.

Dot cleared her throat, looking grave. "I'm afraid to say…that I would make a horrible doctor. I don't even know how to use this thing!' Dot held up a stethoscope. Yakko rolled his eyes.

"What about me?"

Dot shrugged. "Beats me. Didn't I just tell you I'm a horrible doctor? I'd make a much better model." Dot flashed a pose as cameras clicked in the back round.

Wakko smiled at Yakko. "I think you're in loooooove." He dragged out the last word while batting his eyes. Yakko grabbed a glass of water, chugged it down, then spit it out in a show of being shocked.

"What?"

Dot giggled as Wakko started singing. "Yakko and Val sittin in a tree. K. I. S. S. I. N. G."

Yakko's face heated as they sang. "I am NOT in love! It's Val's job to fall in love with me! Not the other way around! So she had better start loving me soon or else!"

Dot snickered. "or else what? You'll give her flowers and chocolates? Face it Yakko, you fell in love with Val and there's nothing you can do."

"It's not so bad. After all, you have to marry her." Wakko pointed out. Yakko sighed, frustrated.

"Yeah but she was supposed to fall in love first and then say yes when I ask her to marry me so we can stay royalty. The rest was just going to go along on it's own. How am I supposed to get her to love me if I'm too busy trying not to drool when she smiles or blush when she hugs me? That's not Yakko style! That's not any style! It's just lame!"

"Well I'll put a few good words in for you Yak but other than that, the rest is up to you. Good luck. Val doesn't seem all that easy."

"She is pretty cute though." Wakko grinned. Yakko raised his fist at Wakko.

"Back off."

Wakko laughed. "You're jealous."

"I am not! Shut up!" Yakko grabbed a pillow and his siblings followed suit, smacking each other in a frenzy of feathers and pillow cases until they all looked like a bunch of molting ducks.

…

Val laid awake in her bed that night, writing in her diary only one sentence:

_Dear Diary,_

_I think I finally found the right guy…but don't quote me on this. _


	12. When plans and love unfold

**Greetings. I'm grateful to everyone reading and/ or reviewing my story through this. I'm very grateful for the support. Enjoy. **

Royal Pains Chapter 12

"Favorite color?"

"Teal."

"Favorite food?"

"Cupcakes."

Yakko nodded as he took notes. "Very nice."

Val smiled, confused, as she brushed a strand of hair from her eyes. "Why are you asking me all these questions?"

Yakko scribbled something then looked up. "So I can know everything about you."

Val nodded, stretching out on the picnic blanket they were sitting on. "Uh huh. And you're writing it down because…?"

Yakko looked up at her and smiled. "I don't want to forget do I?"

Val sighed, laying down as she basked in the sun. Yakko studied her, chewing on the tip of his pencil.

"Favorite song?"

"Listen."

Yakko paused, waiting. Val didn't open her eyes. Finally, he spoke. "I'm listening."

Val peeked at him. "What?"

"You said to listen."

"No. My favorite song is Listen by Beyonce."

Yakko nodded. "Oh…I get it."

Val laughed. It sounded like a snort. Yakko snickered as he scribbled. Val frowned at him.

"Don't make fun of my laugh."

Yakko grinned. "Oh that was a laugh? My mistake. I thought it was your impression of Wilbur from Charlotte's Web."

Val shoved him down on the blanket and reached for his pad of paper. "Let me see what you've been writing all this time."

Yakko shook his head, clutching the paper to his chest. Val pouted, her eyes going big and sweet. Yakko blinked. God she was just like Dot. Did all girls have the ability to get what they want?

"Nope sorry Wilbur."

Val stuck out her hand. "Give it."

"No way."

"I said NOW!"

Yakko winced, rubbing his ear. "Yeesh. Calm down Miss Piggy."

Val pounced on him and tried to wrestle the paper from his hand. Yakko laughed. "Stop I'm ticklish."

Val smiled slyly. "Really? Do I have to tickle it out of you?"

"Back off oinkers."

"THAT'S IT!" Val toppled him and they fell down into the grass. She meant to be sinister and scare the pants of Yakko with her death gaze but they ended up awkwardly tangled up in the grass. Yakko found his face inches from hers and they both stopped breathing. He gently reached up and tucked one of Val's curls back in place. "How bad does it hurt?" His lips were inches from hers. Val was tingling from being this close. So close yet not quite close enough…

"Does what hurt?" Val was cupping his face in her hands ,ready to stop making this stupid small talk and get on with it. Yakko rubbed her arms gently. "Your illness."

Val frowned. "What?"

Yakko nodded, looking serious as he leaned in. "You have a case of Yakko fever…and I'm afraid it's serious. Poor girl you didn't stand a chance." Yakko grinned and Val rolled her eyes, instantly grossed out by how close she was to him. They broke apart and Yakko sat up, confused. "What'd I say?"

Val smirked. "Nothing. I just realized I'm disgusted by you. Goodbye." Val got up to leave and Yakko grabbed her wrist. "Val come on! Don't go! I'll be good I promise."

Val sighed wearily. "Alright fine."

Yakko grinned, his tail wagging. Val forced herself not to smile by his obvious cuteness.

"But I'm not staying for you. I just happen to enjoy the sun right here." Val laid down and closed her eyes, choosing to ignore Yakko. He smiled, satisfied, before grabbing his pad of paper and taking up his writing. Val sighed in frustration. "Okay now you're just teasing me."

Yakko laughed as he studied the paper in front of him.

…

Giselle watched the exchange with increasing disgust. _I'm going to vomit! How dare she prance back here after getting fired and steal the King! She must think she's so high and mighty!_

"I can't stand that girl." Giselle snarled.

"Indeed. She has become quite the menace."

Giselle jumped and turned to see a fat man wearing purples looking out at the two lovebirds with the expression of someone who just saw Twilight and realized there were things far worse than the devil.

Giselle blinked. "Who are you?"

"That doesn't matter at the moment. You dislike this girl am I wrong?"

"I completely loath her!"

"Indeed. What would you say to an exchange? Say, you brush my pony, I brush yours?"

Giselle tilted her head in confusion. "But I don't have a pony."

He shook his head in frustration. "No I mean you scratch my back and I shall scratch yours."

Giselle stepped away. "EW! I wouldn't go near your back with a 20 foot pole!"

"Look lady do you want the girl gone or not?"

"Oh. Well then yes."

"Good. We understand each other. I need your help to find out about this girl and the King's relationship. In return, she will be long gone before the wedding bells ring. Do we have a deal?" The mysterious man stuck out his hand to shake. Giselle smiled evilly and put on a rubber glove before taking his in agreement.

_Val Rocket, you are so dead!_

…

Wakko sighed, bored out of his mind. _There is nothing to do today! I already ate everything in the kitchen. Dot won't play with me. I'm so bored! _Wakko slumped in his chair, wishing he had actual King stuff to do. _Why am I too little to do anything noble? I want to fight dragons, rescue GORGEOUS hello nurse princesses, throw parties! Yakko always gets to do everything cool. Granted I don't really want to get married but still…_

Wakko sighed. He decided he wanted a cookie. Of course, there were no more. The castle should have more cookies. Wakko went through his gag bag and found a yo-yo. "Booooring!" He dug out a box or crayons. _Hmmm, maybe I'll draw on Mr. Mousy's face later. That would be fun. Oh that's right. _

Wakko remembered that Mr. Mousy had taken Helga on a dinner date. Who knew right?

Wakko suddenly heard a knock at the door and he grinned. _I wonder who it is? Maybe it's the Pillsbury dough boy! I always wanted to hug that big ball of dough!_ Wakko raced to the door and opened it.

Giselle stood with a big smile on her face. Wakko's tongue rolled down to the rug and he leaped for her. "Helloooooo Giselle!" _So much better than the Pillsbury dough boy!_

"Why hello your majesty. I was just walking along thinking about how beautiful I am and I realized I have no one to talk to about my beauty."

Wakko gasped. "Now that's just awful."

Giselle nodded sadly, wiping away an imaginary tear. " I know. And I realized that maybe there would be a handsome clever Royal King here who could help me."

Wakko's face sunk. "Oh well Yakko's gone for the day. He's off with his new sort of girlfriend slash future wife slash prisoner."

Giselle nodded. "Oh I know. I was talking about you. Why don't we go talk alone."

"Faboo! Hey, can you make cookies?"

…

Yakko finished writing and smiled. "There! All done! Ready to go Val?"

Val was snoring lightly, having fallen asleep in the sun. Yakko grinned, grabbing a can of whip cream from his back pocket. He went give her a Christmas-like beard but stopped himself before he did something really stupid. _No! You already almost messed up today. Do you really want to live in that broken water tower for the rest of forever? Drop the whipped cream can, and walk away. _Yakko sighed, tucking the can away. It sure was hard being in love. You can't even crack a joke. Yakko still couldn't figure out why they hadn't kissed. It was so close and then nothing. How could you get that close and get nothing?

He laid down beside sleeping Val and watched the sun begin to set. The air was cooler and a breeze picked up, making Val shiver in her sleep. She scooted closer until she was pressed against his side and Val snuggled into his shoulder. Yakko felt something catch in his throat and he put an arm around her to keep her warm. His entire body was a million degrees hotter and he felt the tiniest shiver when Val ran her fingers through the fur on his chest. She sighed and murmured something in her sleep.

"Mmmmplew."

Yakko sighed. Mmmmplew. _I wonder if that's foreign for love. Well than mmmmplew to you too._

He decided it was getting late and no amount of adorable gibberish could tell the sky otherwise. He gently scooped Val into his arms and carried her back to the castle, feeling so good inside it seemed like it should be a crime.

…

Wakko munched on cookies happily as Giselle made another batch for him, exhausted.

"What are you a black hole?" Giselle flopped to the floor when she saw Wakko eat the entire new batch and the cooking tray included. Wakko burped. "Thank you. It's getting late. I'd better be going. Same thing tomorrow?"

Giselle gaped. "But wait! Don't you want to talk about your life? Like say, your brother's engagement?"

Wakko smiled. "Sorry but I gotta be in bed by 9. Yakko says. Bye."

"Wait!" Giselle beat her head against the counter. This was hopeless! That kid did nothing but eat! He had overcooked noodles for brains. The younger sister would know more! Giselle stopped. _Of course! Queen Dot! More like Queen Gossip! Tomorrow I shall plot my revenge! Tonight…I need to clean up this cookie disaster. _

…

Yakko tucked Val in her bed, his ears perked to make sure his sibs were fast asleep in the other room. They knew curfew was 9. Val sighed, hugging her pillow as soon as she felt it touch her head.

Yakko smiled. _She DOES cuddle in her sleep! Good to know. _He leaned in and gently kissed her cheek goodnight. He hesitated, wanting to kiss her lips but not sure what to do if she woke up. He swallowed back his desires and turned to leave.

"…Yak?" Val mumbled. Yakko thought she was still dreaming but she was sitting up, her arms outstretched for a hug. "Thank you. For giving me a great day." Yakko smiled pulling her into a long deep hug. She smelt so pretty, felt so good. One of her hands slid down to his lower back and Yakko's eyelids fluttered. She kissed the very corner of his mouth. "Goodnight handsome King."

Yakko sighed before reluctantly letting her go. He left, having never felt so perfect. _I am so good._

…

Val looked down at the mysterious pad of paper he had written on and she had just stolen from his back pocket. _I am so good._

Unfolding the last piece he had written on, Val stared in shock at a perfect drawing of herself staring up at the stars, constellations reflected in her eyes. _He drew me? I mean, maybe I would have expected a crude playboy version but this is…amazing. _Val carefully folded up the treasure, placing it in the cover of her diary. It was the best gift anyone had ever given her. Sure maybe he hadn't meant to give it to her but Val got it by default right?

She curled into bed with a broad smile on her face. _…Lord help me. I'm in love. _

**Mushy enough for ya? Forgive me for making this last chapter sound like a Nicholas Sparks novel. (Not that I have anything wrong with Nicholas Sparks.) Please read, review, and enjoy!**


	13. Valnapped

**Hi again. I'm out of clever and sweet greetings this morning so stuff it. Ah just kidding. Here's chapter 13. I hope you LOVE it. **

Royal Pains Chapter 13

Val woke up the next morning to find a note on the end of her bed. _Meet me in the garden. Love, Y. _

Val blinked the sleep from her eyes. "When?"

"Oh sorry." Yakko handed her a second note and disappeared. Val yawned before reading it. _At 10. I'll be waiting. _

She smiled, memories of the day before coming to mind. They had had so much fun together. And the picture….Val ran to her diary and opened it. Yep, the picture was still there. As beautiful, flattering, and slightly stalkerish as ever. But Val didn't care. She quickly got dressed and ran to her bedroom door. What she found upon opening it however, wasn't a beautiful day but a huge wall of pink. The wall looked down so Val could see it's face and snarled. "Well hello there maid."

…

Dot heard a knock at her door as she was brushing her hair. She opened it and found Giselle, standing with a slightly worried stance. "Good morning Queen Dot."

Dot looked her up and down. "Oh darling!" She pulled Giselle into the bedroom and looked at her hair. "Look at these split ends!"

"What?" Giselle examined her blond hair carefully. "Well I don't see any-"

"Ah here we are." Dot pulled out a pair of huge scissors and Giselle instantly turned to run. Dot called after her as she ran. "Wait! Don't you want to chat while I do your hair? I have the best news to share!"

Giselle stopped. _It's gonna be worth it. It's all gonna be worth it. _She continued to tell herself this as she turned to go back to the happy Dot with the big scissors. _I'm going to really regret this. _

…

Yakko sat on the blanket he had laid out, waiting for Val. His nerves were acting up and he shoved them back. It was no time to be nervous. Yakko cringed at the thought of her showing up when he was a sweaty mess. Great way to turn her on. Yakko had a plan though. As soon as she showed up, he was going to kiss her. No questions asked. He just couldn't take the constant waiting anymore. Then he would tell her he loved her and wanted to spend forever with her. If she said she loved him too, he'd get down on one knee and propose. If she didn't…well than he was going to have to do some word play to get her to agree. It wouldn't be easy though. Val seemed pretty smart. So Yakko waited. He waited and waited and waited. He waited until it grew dark. He waited until it snowed. He waited until it grew light again. Yakko sighed. "Weird weather we're having." He glanced down at his watch. 10:06. _She'll be here. She's probably just getting ready. She's probably just putting on lipstick because she wants to kiss me too. She's probably excited to see me. Probably. _

…

"Henrietta! What have you done?" Sir Figglesworth was furious as he stared at the unconscious Val on the floor.

"I knocked her out." Henrietta shrugged. Her father threw a hand over his eyes. "Why?"

"Because she bit me when I tried to drag her out!" Henrietta showed her arm.

"Sweetheart, the plan was to separate them so they'd hate each other."

"Yeah well that was taking too long. Besides, while you and the stupid blond were doing nothing, I was watching them. They're even closer than ever. So I decided to stick myself between them."

"Yes but what about when the King realizes she was kidnapped? He will send out search parties and guns." He gulped. Henrietta rolled her eyes. "Please. Do you think I'm that stupid. I left a note."

"A note?"

"Yes. Is there an echo in here? A note. A note from Val to Yakko stating in simplified terms, I don't like you, I'm leaving. Then he'll have to marry me."

Sir Figgleworth was taken aback. His daughter was a genius. All along he and Giselle had thought the break up had to be real. But truthfully, they just had to stage the break up! "Henrietta my darling, I'm calling a tailor to fit your wedding dress right this moment!"

…

_Where am I? Oh god my head is killing me! It feels like I got hit by a steam roller. Why is it so dark? I'm blind! Oh wait, my eyes are closed. Few. What's that? _Val listened as she heard the voices talking excitedly from feet away. She realized she couldn't move and began to panic. She forced herself not to flail and carefully peeked from under her lashes. She was tied to a chair. Then it hit her. The wall of pink, her date with Yakko, the lamp to the back of her head. _Well that explains the headache. Oh no! Yakko! This stupid girl made me late! I hope he can forgive me. _Val made a mental note to wear something red and slimming when she saw him again.

Val decided to risk blowing her cover and find out where she was. She opened her eyes and saw it looked like a room in the castle she hadn't been in. She saw the fat pink girl who had kidnapped her talking excitedly to… the prime minister of Ticktockia?"

…

"We'll be so rich my darling that we will need to by pockets to hold our pockets of dough! This is GRAND! MWAHA-"

"Excuse me." Val tapped Sir Figgleworth's shoulder. "I hate to interrupt a good evil laugh but could either of you tell me where I am?"

"What?" Henrietta and Sir Figglesworth looked from her to the chair and back.

Val nodded. Ah deaf people. She cleared her throat. "Caaaaaaan youuuuuu ttttteeeelllllllll meeeeeee-"

"Stop this foolishness! I heard you! I just can't figure out how you got over here!"

"Oh well see this pudgy pink girl knocked me out and-"

"Hey!"

Val smiled. "Well hello there. Nice to see you again too. By the way, nice back hand." Val rubbed her head for affect. Sir Figgleworth's face got red and Val grinned. "Cool. Your face changes colors. Are you a super hero? Do you have super powers? Oh lets call you Chameleon Man!"

"GET BACK IN THE CHAIR!" He shouted. Val rubbed her ear. "You don't have to yell. I'm not the deaf one here. Alright C-man, I'm going." Val sat back down in the chair.

"Tie yourself back up!"

Val sighed, slipping the rope over her arms and pulling some rope over her feet. She looked up to see them both staring at her. She covered herself in false embarrassment. "Do you MIND? Pervs…"

They turned around quickly and Val finished tying herself back up, neither of them having noticed the pair of scissors Val had snatched from the desk drawer when she got up.

Val sat, bored as they spoke in hushed whispers on the other side of the room.

"You know, exclusion from activities in often a leading cause of youth suicide. You wouldn't want me to die would you?" They continued to speak in whispers. Well that answers that question.

…

Yakko stormed up to the castle, cranky, cold, and numb from sitting on his butt for 3 hours. _When I get a hold of her, I'm gonna do something…_Yakko sighed. He knew his anger would cool as soon as he saw her face. She's probably just forgot. But then again, Yakko had been saying probably for the last 3 hours and she still didn't show up. He went up to her room to talk but after knocking a few times and no answer, he decided to let himself in. Val wasn't there and he frowned, more puzzled then ever. He sat down on her bed to think and saw a folded piece of paper on the pillow. He opened it and his heart dropped.

_Dear Yakko,_

_I know we have had fun these past few days but the truth is I'm disgusted by you. I never really liked you and just used you to become rich. Now realizing my selfish ways, I leave to find somewhere else to go. I'm sorry. You're just too gross. Goodbye, Val. _

Yakko was numb. He didn't know what to feel. All he knew was that he kept expecting Val to jump out of nowhere and tell him it was a joke. To hug him and say sorry for being late. But she didn't.

He reread the note, looking for a sign that she was joking, that she loved him too much to leave. But all he kept seeing was _I'm disgusted by you. He remembered yesterday when they had almost kissed and he cracked the joke to lighten the mood. Val had said then, 'I'm disgusted by you.' So it was true…_

_Yakko couldn't bring himself to believe she was using him though. Val had needed to be dragged back to the castle in order for her to stay. Maybe she was just a really good actor. She had played him all along. Yakko felt an overpowering sense of misery suddenly sweep over him. It was over. He was surprised to find he wasn't lost because of the royalty issue, but because he would never see her again. Val was so sweet, so honest with him. Or so he thought. Yakko took a shaky breath before dragging himself from her room to go curl up alone, never having felt so low in all his life. _


	14. Henrietta's wrath!

**Hello to everyone who has been keeping up on my story. I really appreciate all the reviews and helpful comments. It can only make my story better. So thanks again and here's your present for being so kind. Chapter 14!**

Royal Pains

It had been 3 hours and Val was pretty sure her mind would explode. The chair she was tied to was hard and uncomfortable, there was nothing to eat or drink, and the company she had lacked personality. Sir Figglesworth was the only one present after the pink flamingo girl left and she was getting bored of trying to humiliate him. Granted, it was cool watching him turn into Chameleon Man whenever he blushed but even that got dull after awhile. Val kicked her legs aimlessly, humming a tune as she snipped at the rope on her arms with the scissors. Val felt a snap and held up the broken pair of scissors. Of course. Safety scissors. Made to protect against cuts, jabs, and girls trying to escape kidnapping.

"Okay I'll bite. Why did you kidnap me? Honestly, am I THAT amazing?"

Sir Figglesworth looked at her in shock. "You mean you don't even know?"

Val rolled her eyes. "If I knew, do you think I'd be wasting my breath by asking?"_ Yeesh dumber than advertised. _

Sir Figglesworth paced back and forth while weighing the options. If he told her, she would have more intelligence about the reason and therefore, a motive to escape. But Sir Figglesworth just loved to brag and he got lonely bragging to just his teddy bear every night.

"Alright. I have decided to tell you."

Val smiled wryly. "Oh gee mister you just made my day. Now my heart feels super happy!"

_Ignoring that. _"I have captured you so my daughter can marry King Yakko and I can become a close relation to powerful rulers. If you are not present, Yakko will have no choice but to marry darling Henrietta."

Val stopped than snorted. "You mean the pink girl who knocked me out? Why would Yakko marry her? And more importantly, what does me being kidnapped have to do with a wedding?"

Sir Figglesworth nodded. "That's right you haven't been told a thing now have you? It is law that the eldest heir must marry a girl he chooses by his sixteenth birthday."

"Yeah so?" Val glared at him. Sir Figglesworth rolled his eyes.

"You are so daft. That girl he chose, was YOU."

Val blinked in shock. "B-but that doesn't make sense. He never proposed or did anything like that. We were just friends…"

Sir Figglesworth grinned. "Ah but he was planning something more. It feels good to be used doesn't it?"

Val closed her eyes, a headache coming on. Obviously the fat guy was lying. Yakko wouldn't actually have been planning a wedding would he? _We haven't even kissed. He didn't give me a ring or any of that mushy crap! This guy is just getting under my skin. _

"Well C-man, I'd believe you but then I would have to kill you. Sorry but this is a load of bull. I want to know why I'm tied to this chair right now!"

C-man glared at Val, sensing her anger building. "You are foolish for not believing me."

"Give me proof and I'll believe you."

Just then, the door opened and in walked all the proof anyone would ever need. The room went deadly quiet and then Val burst out in uncontrollable laughter. Standing in the doorway was Giselle, her head half shaved. The hair she still had was dyed a putrid green and her face looked like a clown threw up on it. Giselle glared at her hatefully and Val laughed even harder.

"What the heck happened to you?" Sir Figglesworth spoke over the laughs. He was fighting to be in control himself, snickering under his breath. Giselle's face went deep red. "I paid a visit to that horrid Queen Dot to learn about the engagement and she decided I had some split ends."

Val was trying to calm herself but couldn't stop laughing. "Oh I love Dot!" Sir Figglesworth was laughing too and Giselle stormed out in a big huff.

"I wouldn't call them beauty rages anymore Giselle!" Val shouted after her. "But clown rages may suit you just fine!"

…

_You disgust me. You disgust me. You disgust me. _Yakko couldn't get her words from his head as he laid, limp in his bed. _I shouldn't feel this bad. Why am I so miserable? She's just another girl. _Yakko sighed. But she's not. Val was different and Yakko knew it. He had known since his "check up" with Wakko and Dot. He had known when he tucked her into bed only the night before. Could it have really been only a night ago? It felt like he had been alone for years. Yakko heard a his bedroom door open and he buried himself even deeper in the blankets. A figure sat on his bed and belched loudly.

"Hey Wak." Yakko mumbled, glad he wasn't Dot, who would have yanked him out of bed by now.

"Hey bro. What's goin on?"

"Not much. Had my heart broken, lost the girl of my dreams…all the usual."

"Ah."

Yakko snickered. "Still the man of many words I see. What's bothering you Wakko?"

Wakko sighed. "Giselle won't make me anymore cookies. She says I am a bottomless black hole. Sure that may be true, but it still hurts." Wakko pouted. Yakko stuck his head out of the blankets and half-smiled.

"Girls. Who needs um?"

Wakko nodded. "Yeah. Sure they're fun to look at but no amount of helloooo nurses are worth the headaches that follow."

Yakko laughed. "Yeah."

Wakko stuck his tongue out. "So what happened with Val?"

Yakko sighed. "I'm not sure. Everything was great last night, today I even planned to kiss her and tell her about the law. But she didn't show so I went to go see her and she left a note saying she was disgusted by me and that she used me to be rich but now she was leaving. I just don't think it makes any sense. Val had to be bagged and dragged back here with me. Why would she make it so hard on me if she just wanted to come anyways?"

Wakko shrugged. "I don't know. Do you have anything to eat under there?"

Yakko sighed. "All I've got is baloney in my slacks and no you may not eat it."

Wakko pouted then settled into the blankets alongside his big brother. "Dot's not going to take it well."

"Take what well?"

"Well if you're not getting married, than we have to leave. Dot's gonna be pretty mad at you."

Yakko frowned. "We aren't leaving. Sure I won't find another girl I love but in the end, my sibs will ALWAYS come first. And no amount of ditching red heads will ever keep me from doing my job as big brother. We aren't losing this place."

"So…what are you going to do?"

Yakko shrugged.

All of a sudden, Henrietta burst out of his closet in an attempt at looking glamorous. Yakko yelped. "What the heck?"

"Why HELLO my darling future husband! Of course I will marry you!"

"I…uh…"

"Speechless I see. I usually have that affect on people."

Wakko gave her a creeped out look. "How long have you been in there?"

"That's not important. Come along Yakko, we have wedding plans to finish."

Yakko realized right then the price he would have to pay to keep his siblings happy. _I'm being a good big brother by doing this. I have to put then before any problems I face…even THAT face. _Henrietta was grinning like some horror movie villain about to kill his victim.

"Alright lady. I'll bite. Let's get this show on the road." Yakko sighed. Henrietta squealed and yanked him into her arms, making Yakko choke half to death and whisked him out of the room. Wakko sat, not believing what he had seen. He ran off to find Dot. _If Yakko can be a good big brother, I can be a good middle brother!_

…

Wakko found Dot and told her everything. Dot frowned. "Val wouldn't just leave like that."

"But she did."

Dot shook her head. "No Wakko. Unless you're doing a toon sprint like the last time Yakko brought her out of the castle, it would take at least 7 hours to get out of the castle boundaries. The guards would have spotted her leaving."

"What guards?" Wakko frowned.

Dot shrugged. "I didn't want Yakko to mess up on this and have her leave. So I hired some guys to make sure she stayed." Wakko balked at her and Dot crossed her arms. "So I wanted a sister. Big whoop!"

Wakko realized slowly what this meant. "So…Val's still here."

"Unless the highly trained ninja guards all went on coffee break at the same time than yep."

"Well than- wow wait! You got ninja guards? Where'd you get those?"

Dot rolled her eyes. "I can't believe you. Now come on. We have to go tell Yakko that something's up."

…

Yakko stood in the mirror looking at himself in distaste. _I look too good to be miserable. _

Wakko and Dot ran in and looked at him. "Nice tux."

"Yakko! Val's still in the castle!"

Yakko whirled around at lightning speed to face Dot. "She is? Where?"

Wakko took a deep breath and opened his mouth to speak. "Dot hired some guards that are ninjas and had them watch and no one left which means Val's still here in the castle and I can't believe I have the ability to talk this fast and you can't marry Henrietta!"

Yakko and Dot exchanged a look of shock than turned to Wakko. "Wakko I don't think I have ever heard you say so many words in your life." Yakko got a little teary eyed. "My brother!"

Wakko shook his head. 'Val's still here!"

"What? Well than we have to find her! I had agreed to marry what's-her-face today but if I can find Val we can wait until my birthday!"

"Oh no you can't!" Henrietta spoke in a sing song voice as she stepped out of yet another closet. All three Warners jumped. "Seriously! Do you have some sort of thing with closets?" Yakko gasped. Henrietta held up a piece of paper. "You can't marry on your birthday because of THIS!"

Dot raised an eyebrow. "A piece of paper?"

"A piece of paper Yakko signed agreeing to marry early. And if he doesn't follow through on contract and marry TODAY, you three will lose your thrones."

"YAKKO!" Wakko and Dot glared at him. Yakko gaped. "She told me I was just putting my name in a raffle to meet Michelle Pfeiffer! I didn't know!"

Henrietta laughed. "See you at the alter in one hour sweetums. And you had BETTER make sure you don't keep me waiting!" Henrietta left. Yakko, Wakko, and Dot slumped, defeated.

"What are we gonna do now?" Dot whined. Yakko grinned slowly. "Sibs. We're gonna do what Warners do best. Create chaos!"

"Sounds like you have an idea!"

"Faboo!"

"That's right sibs. And here's the plan…"

**Don't be too angry but I hope you're all as excited as I am to see how the Warners get out of this problem. Read and review or I shall send the mallet of justice down upon your heads! Ah just kidding. But seriously, review. **


	15. The GREAT FINALE!

**Hello to all. I suppose I should mention this is OUR FINAL CHAPTER! Whoop whoop! Now don't cry. I've got a special surprise to be revealed later. That should keep you happy. For now, enjoy the story! **

Royal Pains Chapter 15

_Yakko wants to marry me._ Val felt a weird tingling feeling in her tummy. She couldn't tell if it was happiness, or something she had had for lunch. _This is too weird. I have to find Yakko. _

Just as Val was thinking this, Henrietta waltzed in, humming the wedding march.

"Oh Daddy guess who's getting married in an hour."

Sir Figglesworth balked and Val felt like she had been kicked in the gut. _Oh no. _

"Henrietta how did you manage this?"

She flicked her curls happily. "Simple. I just tricked Yakko into signing a contract agreeing to marry early. He has to marry me in one hour." Henrietta turned to Val and gave her a smug smile. Val made a gagging noise. "He'll get out of it. Trust me."

"Oh no he shall not! Oh and Daddy, they know Val hasn't left the castle walls."

Sir Figglesworth seemed uncaring. "Do not fret my peach for Val shall be long gone before you say I do."

Val rolled her eyes. "Don't tell me you're going all Al Capone on us C-man. I just couldn't stand that level of hilarity."

He glared at her. "No. And stop calling me that! I have hired someone to send you to Alaska. They will be here very shortly. Until then, My daughter and I must go prepare and Giselle will wait with you."

"Oh yea! Just the clown I wanted to see." Val smiled brightly. Giselle walked in and scowled.

"Oh shut up. My hair will grow back."

Val shrugged. "Yeah but what are you going to do about well…everything else?"

Sir Figglesworth and Henrietta left them to their bickering. Val whistled a merry tune and Giselle flicked through a magazine. "Will you stop whistling?"

Val frowned. "Fine. I shall sing. Row row row your boat gently down the stream. Through Giselle overboard and listen to her scream."

Giselle threw the magazine to the floor and stormed over until she was inches from Val's face.

"You may think you are all that but very soon you won't be. You are done Val Rocket and soon, everything you ever loved will be wrenched away from you!" Val blinked.

"Did you know when you frown you get a wrinkle right between your brows? It's pretty unsightly."

Giselle covered her forehead. She was about to say something else when wedding music began to play. Val listened, feeling her heart sink. Giselle smiled. "Looks like the wedding has begun. Hope you like losing everything."

"Well at least I don't pretend like my life doesn't stink. You are miserable and make up for it by making everyone else miserable and pretending you are happy. But you aren't Giselle. You're lonely and sad. Why would you lie to yourself?"

Giselle stopped, suddenly unsure. "I-I don't know." She stood up and walked around Val slowly, deep in thought. "I guess maybe because I HATE YOU!"

Val blinked, trying to recover her hearing. "Nice to know we cleared that up." Val looked down and saw Giselle had dropped her nail clippers when she was bent down. Val carefully put her foot over them and dragged them to her. _I need a distraction. _

"Giselle, what is it that you think makes you most beautiful?"

"Oh well there are a million reasons."

_Perfect. _"Well then since I'm about to leave forever, why not tell me all the reasons you are so wonderful?"

Giselle sat down with a pad of paper and began to write as she spoke. "My hair, my nose, my eyes, my clothes, my shoes, my mouth, my hips, blah, blah, blah."

Val sighed. _This is ridiculous. _

"My amazing ability to sense a problem."

"That's nice Giselle. Hey, I have a present for you." Giselle turned around and screamed.

…"Have fun in Alaska Giselle!" Val took one last glance at Giselle tied and gagged in the chair before sprinting off to stop that wedding.

…

The music began to play and Henrietta hitched up her skirts as she waltzed herself down the isle. Her father had wanted to walk her but Henrietta wanted to arrive in style and a sweaty dad on your arm is not stylish. The entire kingdom's staff was there ranging from maids to gardeners to chefs. The walkway was done up with beautiful pink roses to match Henrietta's pink gown. She saw a tuxedoed figure standing in the front with a large top hat on and she grinned triumphantly. _I ALWAYS get my way! _She marched her big behind right up to the alter. She turned. "I knew you would see things my way." The priest walked forward and the tuxedoed figure turned to face her. "Of course. But how about today we skip the wedding and get straight to the CAKE!" Wakko leapt out of the tuxedo and smashed a wedding cake right in Henrietta's face. Everyone gasped and Henrietta sputtered. "DADDY!"

Sir Figglesworth shouted. "Guards!"

Dot jumped out of the tuxedo. "Hey good idea! Ninja guards attack!"

Ninja's came from nowhere wielding swords. One woman screamed and fainted.

"Oops sorry. Ninja guards attack with cake!" The ninjas set down their swords and grabbed cake from the their back pockets, flinging it everywhere. The entire place was a frosting disaster. Henrietta ran after Wakko and almost got an anvil on her head. "AH! What the heck?" She glared at Wakko who shrugged. "Don't look at me. I prefer a mallet." He grabbed a mallet from his back pocket and began chasing Henrietta with it, an evil grin on his face. "Help! DADDY!"

"Sweetie Daddy's a bit tied up at the moment!" Sir Figglesworth yelled as the ninja's roped him up and hung him like a piñata over a railing. Dot screamed. "CANDY!" and kids came from everywhere holding baseball bats and mallets. One kid had a medieval flail. "No stop! I am not stuffed with candy! AHHHHHH!"

Through all this mess Yakko ran to get to the castle and find Val. He rounded a corner and WHAM! He head butted her and they flopped to the ground. "Ow! I think I chipped a tooth." Val rubbed her head and looked up, a big grin on her face. "YAKKO!" Yakko looked up and smiled. "Val! You didn't leave!" He scooped her up in a bear hug and Val laughed. "Of course not. You think I'd miss your wedding?"

Yakko blushed. "Oh you know about that?"

Val smiled. "Yep. And when exactly were you planning on telling me I was going to be your wife?"

Yakko gulped. "Maybe after. I don't really know anymore."

Val touched his face and leaned in. "Well I would be honored to marry you."

Yakko closed his eyes to kiss her when they were interrupted by Sir Figglesworth's screams of terror.

"Gosh some people are just so rude. Come on." Yakko took Val's hand and they ran outside o where the wedding was being held. The entire place was covered in cake, all the guests were cowered against a tree while ninjas stood guard and Sir Figglesworth was being beaten by a bunch of little kids with weapons. Henrietta was furious. "I WILL HAVE YOU ALL BEHEADED FOR THIS! I ALWAYS GET MY WAY! ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS!"

She was suddenly silenced by a correctly aimed anvil on the head. She flopped to the ground. Val smiled. "Wow. This place looks like a 6 year olds birthday party. All we're missing is a clown. Too bad she's on her way to Alaska."

Yakko gave her a weird look and Val slid a hand around his waist. "I'll explain it later."

Wakko and Dot came over. "Well this is all fine and dandy but Yakko still has to marry before the end of the hour which is in 10 minutes."

"Oh crap." Yakko turned to Val who was smiling. "Val?"

"Yes Yakko?"

"Will you-"

"Yes yes she'll marry you now come on!" Dot dragged Val into the castle and Wakko went to find the priest who was hiding behind a tree.

Yakko took his place at the alter, taking deep breaths to avoid the nervous jitters building up. The priest eventually came forward and stood waiting. "I have never seen a crazier wedding in my life. Who's the bride again?"

Yakko went to speak when the castle doors opened and Val walked out in a beautiful wedding gown that was simple and elegant. Dot took her place as maid of honor and Wakko stood as best man. Yakko watched her glide towards him and his words were caught in his throat. _I have to tell her something memorable. Tell her she's the most beautiful wonderful girl you ever met. Tell her you can't live without her. Tell her she's perfection. _Val stopped to face him and Yakko swallowed. "Hi."

Val smiled, a pink blush in her cheeks. "Hi."

The priest cleared his throat. "Are we all set now?"

Yakko took Val's hand like he had many times before. But this time, it sent fireworks shooting up Val's arm to her chest. "We're all set."

"Now do you, Yakko Warner take Val Rocket to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do." Yakko looked at her and spoke without hesitation. The guests and ninjas all went awwww.

"And do you, Val Rocket take Yakko Warner to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"Ditto." Val whispered. Yakko grinned, squeezing her hand gently.

"Then by the power in me, I-"

"CEASE THE WEDDING!" Brain ran down the isle carrying the law book which was much too big for him and he had to stop every few seconds to breathe. "W-wait I say!"

Yakko and Val exchanged a look as they waited for him to finish making his way to the alter.

"Hold on! Almost there! Few!"

Val sighed, leaning against Yakko's shoulder as she checked her nails. Yakko took out a paddleball and began bouncing it as they waited.

"Okay! I'm here! You may stop with the hilarity. I have something to say." Brain cleared his throat. "I was in my lab, working on a plan to rule the world when I stumbled upon yet another train of thought in my head. Upon further investigation, I discovered something quite interesting-"

"Get on with it!" Dot yelled. Brain cleared his throat. "The law that King Yakko was to be following through on is in fact, an outdated law, having been created in the 1802. It is no longer a liable law for ruling a kingdom."

"But that's preposterous! OUCH! Knock it off you little brats!" Sir Figglesworth yelled.

"It is the rules. King Yakko, you do NOT have to marry."

Wakko and Dot exchanged a look. "All that work for this?"Yakko looked at Val who looked at him in shock.

"That is, if you would LIKE to marry, you may very well do so."

Yakko took Val's hands in his. "I guess there's something I want to say but I'm not quite sure how to say it."

Wakko cleared his throat. "What Yakko wants to say is that before he didn't want to marry. But upon getting to know Val, he's seen that he wants to be with her even if that means giving away his freedom."

Everyone awed and Yakko blinked. "Are you kidding? I was going to tell Brain his fly is down! Come on Val, let's go get a ton of fast food and see who can throw up first!"

Val laughed. "Yeah! Almost married couple's out! PEACE!"

"Well wait, is anyone getting married here or not?" The priest glared. Mr. Mousy stepped forward shyly.

"Well if no one else is…my darling Helga and I would like a wedding."

"Yea wedding for Helga!" Helga scooped Mr. Mousy into her arms and carried him to the alter.

"I'm not sticking around for this train wreck. Wakko, you comin?""Are you kidding? I might get the bouquet!" Wakko grinned. "I'm staying."

Dot sighed. "I will never understand you."

…

Yakko and Val walked aimlessly, their hands entwined.

"So you actually would have married me. Crazy."

Yakko cleared his throat. "Yeah…crazy."

Val slipped his hand around her shoulders and hugged him tightly as they walked. Yakko hugged her back.

"Imagine what it would be like if we were married. We could do this all time. And we could also do this." Val took Yakko's face in her hands and kissed him. Yakko kissed her back, happy to just be with her. When they broke apart, Yakko stroked her cheek. "So what should we do about twiddle dim and twiddle dimmer?" Val laughed. "I have an idea."

…

"Welcome to Barren Von Plotz's Burger place, where after just a handful of burgers, you can look like me." Sir Figglesworth said his trademark line as Henrietta handed off the greasy food. Someone outside sounding suspiciously like Dot shouted. "Two for one sale!" The restaurant was suddenly swarmed by people, their voices drowning out Sir Figglesworth and Henrietta's screams.

…

"So do you think someday we'll get married Yakko?" Val snuggled into his shoulder as they looked up at the stars in the sky. Yakko turned to tell her absolutely and stopped. "You look just like a drawing I did of you."

Val smiled, remembering the drawing of her watching the stars. "That drawing lacked one important thing."

"What's that?""You."

**10 years later…**

"By the power vested in me, I pronounce you King and Queen, toon and toonette, man and wife. Etcetera etcetera etcetera."

Yakko and Val shared in a married kiss as everyone cheered. All of their friends from Acme Falls were there too, along with some friends that they had made at the castle. Yakko and Val hugged and Dot punched the air. "Yeah! I've got a sister!"

Wakko stole Val's flowers. "And I've got the bouquet." He swallowed it whole.

Dot shook her head. "Really? You wanted a bouquet just to eat it?"

"I've never tasted bouquet before."

Val kissed Yakko again and whispered in his ear. "What do you know? I guess filthy maids can have a happily ever after after all."

**The end! Now I promised a surprise and I'm gonna give it. But first, lets bring out the cast one last time! Uh…cast?**

_**You didn't think we'd go QUIETLY now did you? **_

**Pies suddenly rain down from the heavens on all poor innocent victims below.(Okay so maybe just me)**

**The cast comes out and Val sniffles. **_**I guess this is goodbye.**_

**(Cast cries)**

**On no it's not.**

**(Cast cheers)**

**My surprise is a new story coming out called Animaniacs go Animal. Val will be coming back as spunky as ever as well as all the characters you all know and love. Look for the story. And now to close up my very first story EVER I'd like to give special thanks to people. weirdsib, XxLovelyLittleMexX, Siofra22, CBonnett, Ladybug Hunt, mwang, and to my sis catluva12 for being there to make this story even better. I'd also like to thank anyone that helped me that I may have been too stupid to mention. You know who you are. I loves you all, the cast loves you all, thanks for the reviews and great support!**

**(Cast blows a kiss) **_**G'night everybody!**_


End file.
